Posted on 11/01/2022 6:54:02 PM PDT by nickcarraway
A thrifty witch has revealed that the magical world hasn't gone untouched by the cost-of-living crisis.
Alexa Thompson, 32, from John O'Groats in the Scottish Highlands, has been practicising witchcraft for over 23 years after picking up her 'pagan habits' from her father and grandfather.
With the price of everyday essentials sky-rocketing, the self-proclaimed witch has revealed she's had to resort to using saucepans as cauldrons and birthday candles for casting spells.
Boasting more than 57,000 followers on Instagram, Alexa says she's seen a surge in requests for how to practise witchcraft on a shoestring budget.
Advising other potential witches how to get involved at home, the social media star said that supermarket pots of Italian herbs are a great starting point for spells.
She said: 'I always say Italian herbs is a really effective blend, especially for money spells.
Strapped for cash mothers reveal how the cost-of-living...
Childminder, 64, causes outrage on TikTok after dressing up...
'It's got oregano, bay leaves and basil. All of those are great for money and abundance.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
While I might look stylish, I bought all of these great clothes at Witch-Mart....
Too bad they’re too lost and stupid to treat the actual causes
Does she weigh the same as a duck?
Get into homeopathy.
Snitch a leaf, soak it for a day then dilute it to ten thousand gallons ...
Why a duck?
They’re foolish enough to even be witches.
Brain dead seems to be popular.
Monty Python Holy Grail skit. I hope this pasted correctly. I’m on my cell.
Peasant 1: A witch! We have found a witch! Can we burn her?
Belvedere: How do you know that she is a witch?
Peasant 2: Because she looks like one!
Witch: I am not a witch! I am not a witch! They dressed me up like this, and this is not my nose it is a false one!
[Belvedere pulls off the false nose and opens his helmet]
Peasant 1: Well, we did do the nose, and the hat.
Peasant 2: She has a wart.
Belvedere: Why do you think that she is a witch?
Peasant 2: Well, she turned me into a newt.
[Belvedere gives him a disbelieving look]
Belvedere: A newt?
[Silence]
Peasant 2: Well I got better.
Peasant 3: Burn her anyway.
[Yells of “Burn her!”]
Belvedere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. Tell me, what do you do with witches?
Peasants: Burn them!
Belvedere: Now, what do burn besides witches?
Peasant 3: More witches! [receives a punch from Peasant 1; silence]
Peasant 2: Wood?
Belvedere: So, why do witches burn? [more silence]
Peasant 2: Because there made of wood?
Belvedere: So, how do you tell if she is made of wood?
Peasant 3: Build a bridge out of her!
Belvedere: Ah, but cant you also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 3: Oh, right.
Belvedere: Tell me, does wood sink?
Peasant 1: No, it floats.
Belvedere: What also floats in water?
[lots of yelling and many wrong and random answers including very small rocks]
King Arthur: A duck!
Belvedere: Exactly!
Peasant 2: So if she weighs as much as a duck she is made of wood.
Belvedere: And therefore?
Peasants: A witch!
Belvedere: We shall use my largest scales.
[Having been revealed to weigh the same as a duck, therefore proving her a witch, the crowd goes insane]
Witch: It’s a fair cop.
Sounds like she needs to use Patreon.
Though I gather using magic to get money has an unusual problem. Money (and drinking Alcohol) are both “Neutral Spirits”. In magical terms, everything in the world is either a “push” or a “pull”, so basic magic works by making the pushes and pulls either stronger or weaker.
But money and liquor have inertia to being pulled or pushed by magic. So they need for an ordinary person, using ordinary means to give money or liquor impulse resulting in momentum. Only then can magic either enhance or interfere with that momentum.
ounds like she needs to use Patreon
†************
No, she needs Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, or she’s going to burn in Hell.
THAT is the TRUTH.
That’s not a ‘Come Hither Stare’.
Eye of newt......+10%
Toe of frog.... ...+13%
Wool of bat.......+18%
Tongue of dog..+21%
Inflation is terrible.
I’ll bet that she knows all the words to Witchay Woman...
Why-a no chicken?
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