Posted on 09/26/2022 9:50:11 AM PDT by sodpoodle
I tried to hire a landscape gardener. He said he couldn’t help because my yard was portrait.
Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas.
My 7 yr old likes them.
List stolen for my jokes file. Thanks for the quickie chuckles!
LOL! I couldn’t figure out the last one, trying to see the pun; and then...
(Slow, here...)
With all the bad news, I needed this.
With all the bad news, I needed this.
Dolly Parton is taller lying on her back than standing up.
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I’ve been feeling a little moody and run down lately.
So I googled my symptoms to see what I might have.
It’s kids. I have kids...
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Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember... Don’t sing!
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eHarmony matched me up with Jack Daniels.
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Lent 2022 began on Wednesday, March 2
Back in the pre-Vatican II days, when meat was forbidden on all Fridays, a Catholic missionary was trying to convert a tribe of cannibals.
After some years he was visited by another missionary and was asked how things were going.
He told the visitor that the tribesmen were still cannibals, but now they only ate fishermen on Fridays.
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Bob’s parrot was always swearing so he asked the vet how he could stop it.
“Everytime the parrot swears put it in the freezer for 15 seconds” he advised.
The next time the parrot swore, Bob put the parrot in the freezer.
When he opened the door the parrot was very contrite.
“I am sorry for the bad language and it will never happen again” he said.
“By the way, what did the chicken do?”
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