Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Short Jokes to Lighten the Load
BestLife ^ | 4/15/2021 | multiple

Posted on 09/26/2022 9:50:11 AM PDT by sodpoodle

click here to read article


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-30 last
To: sodpoodle

I tried to hire a landscape gardener. He said he couldn’t help because my yard was portrait.

Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas.


21 posted on 09/26/2022 10:54:52 AM PDT by Betty Jane
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: higgmeister

My 7 yr old likes them.


22 posted on 09/26/2022 10:58:40 AM PDT by stevio
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

ON THE BACKSTRETCH
23 posted on 09/26/2022 11:06:30 AM PDT by deport
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle
A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

I like that one...
24 posted on 09/26/2022 11:42:58 AM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

List stolen for my jokes file. Thanks for the quickie chuckles!


25 posted on 09/26/2022 11:50:17 AM PDT by Ratman0823 ("Failure is not an option"... Unless you are a RINO!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: higgmeister

LOL! I couldn’t figure out the last one, trying to see the pun; and then...

(Slow, here...)


26 posted on 09/26/2022 1:40:59 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

With all the bad news, I needed this.


27 posted on 09/26/2022 1:52:24 PM PDT by apocalypto
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

With all the bad news, I needed this.


28 posted on 09/26/2022 1:52:24 PM PDT by apocalypto
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Dolly Parton is taller lying on her back than standing up.
.-———
I’ve been feeling a little moody and run down lately.
So I googled my symptoms to see what I might have.
It’s kids. I have kids...
.————
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember... Don’t sing!
.————
eHarmony matched me up with Jack Daniels.
.————
Lent 2022 began on Wednesday, March 2
Back in the pre-Vatican II days, when meat was forbidden on all Fridays, a Catholic missionary was trying to convert a tribe of cannibals.
After some years he was visited by another missionary and was asked how things were going.

He told the visitor that the tribesmen were still cannibals, but now they only ate fishermen on Fridays.
.————
Bob’s parrot was always swearing so he asked the vet how he could stop it.
“Everytime the parrot swears put it in the freezer for 15 seconds” he advised.

The next time the parrot swore, Bob put the parrot in the freezer.
When he opened the door the parrot was very contrite.

“I am sorry for the bad language and it will never happen again” he said.
“By the way, what did the chicken do?”


29 posted on 09/26/2022 8:02:13 PM PDT by minnesota_bound (Need more money to buy everything now)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

"Short Jokes to Lighten the Load"


Well, if I could be political, for just one tiny, brief second...

     

30 posted on 09/26/2022 8:19:18 PM PDT by Songcraft
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-30 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson