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Martha's Vineyard Builds Planned Parenthood To Combat Rising Population Of Minorities
BabylonBee.com ^ | 9-19-2022 | BabylonBee Staff

Posted on 09/19/2022 11:51:16 AM PDT by servo1969

MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA — Anticipating further migrant deliveries from Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, the leadership of Martha's Vineyard has begun constructing Planned Parenthood facilities on the affluent island. Residents of the Democratic stronghold say they support the move and are grateful for "Planned Parenthood's long history of supporting minorities by keeping their population under control."

"Planned Parenthood has always supported giving minority populations a choice of whether to have babies, and you can't argue with our results – we're #1, bar none, in helping minority women ‘choose'!" Planned Parenthood Alexis McGill Johnson gave exaggerated air quotes around the word "choose" when speaking to reporters, winking broadly to ensure they understood what she meant by "choose." "We always say that abortion restrictions ‘disproportionately affect women of color,' so you know who our target market is – we're proud to introduce our services in Martha's Vineyard to help with their little ‘problem!'"

Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has weighed in as well, saying that Planned Parenthood is second-to-none when it comes to exterminating minorities and that restricting Planned Parenthood from providing services to Martha's Vineyard would be tantamount to white supremacy. When challenged with proof that Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger was a eugenicist white supremacist, AOC clapped back with courage, saying Sanger "was factually a ‘white supremacist' but morally an advocate for minorities, whereas pro-life groups are factually an advocate for minorities but morally white supremacists."

At publishing time, the residents of Martha's Vineyard were at a celebration breaking ground on the new construction for the facility, crying about how grateful they were to be able to bring joy and abortions to enrich the culture of the rising population of immigrants in their city.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; marthas; parenthood; planned; satire; vineyard

1 posted on 09/19/2022 11:51:16 AM PDT by servo1969
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Crime Busters


2 posted on 09/19/2022 11:54:50 AM PDT by dsrtsage ( Complexity is just simple lacking imagination)
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To: servo1969

Oh, to just sweep the floor at The Bee.


3 posted on 09/19/2022 12:00:38 PM PDT by OKSooner
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To: servo1969

They should have said that they’re seeing evidence of the first few lengths of a large structure. It sort of looks like a FENCE!


4 posted on 09/19/2022 12:27:36 PM PDT by Lake Living
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To: servo1969

Bookmark


5 posted on 09/19/2022 2:57:21 PM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how thery control you. )
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To: servo1969

Very good. Sometimes it’s the most outlandish thing you can imagine, sometimes it’s just the truth.


6 posted on 09/19/2022 11:28:38 PM PDT by Delta 21 (MAGA Republican is my pronoun.)
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To: Delta 21

It is. This is exactly why Planned Parenthood was created in the first place.

“Very good. Sometimes it’s the most outlandish thing you can imagine, sometimes it’s just the truth.”


7 posted on 09/20/2022 10:29:58 AM PDT by utahb52
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