Posted on 08/17/2022 7:53:50 AM PDT by Twotone
From investigating school board parents to raiding Mar-a-Lago, the FBI is on a rampage! Who will they raid next? It could be you!
To help you protect yourself, The Babylon Bee has consulted law enforcement experts to learn the top 10 signs the FBI is about to kick your door down:
A windowless van labeled "Fiber Board Installers" has been parked outside your house all week: And there's a satellite dish on the roof. Weird.
The bush in your front yard is a foot closer to the house every time you look at it: You could've sworn it was by the road when you planted it. Are those eyes?!
You were dumb enough to engage in drug and sex trafficking without being Biden's son: Classic rookie mistake!
Your door dash delivery guy is showered and clean-shaven: He's clearly a Fed.
Your wife keeps shooing pesky FBI agents rummaging through her closet: Too late! You're already being raided!
You were the president and took the nuclear codes home with you: Hopefully, they'll be lenient since you made America great again.
You attended a school board meeting in the last 12 weeks: You monster!
You're alone in your house and you sneeze and a mysterious voice behind the wall says "bless you": At least they're polite.
The kid delivering your newspaper is clearly an adult midget with a 5 o'clock shadow dressed as a kid: Oops — sorry, we meant "little person."
You just clicked on this Babylon Bee article: Oh no! You're on the watchlist forever now!
I wonder if Darwin was still alive he could fill us in where we went wrong.
Did someone go on vacation? The Bee hasn’t been up to its usual standards lately.
You try making up satirical, funny, asinine stories to eclipse the normal everyday crap that is going on!
Oh, I get it. I could never do what they do.
Agreed. This is junior high cheerleader level writing. I was expecting a knock-knock joke in the list.
This is Babylon Bee!
I was hoping for some real information here.
the top 10 signs the FBI is about to kick your door down:
= = =
(1) You are reading this.
1. You are Donald Trump
2. You work for Donald Trump
3. You are friends with Donald Trump
4. You voted for Donald Trump
5. You have displayed a Trump flag
6. You have been to a Trump rally
7. You know who Donald Trump is
8. You like Donald Trump
9. You like the U.S.A.
10.You post on Free Republic
JORDAN PETERSON GOES OFF ON THE GLOBAL ELITES AND THEIR INSANE PLANS TO ENSLAVE US!
26 MINUTES AND WORTH EVERY MINUTE! SHARE IT!
https://www.bitchute.com/video/—QS_UyW2SY/
Two CNN vans parked next door
When you use the TV remote your radio makes a buzzing sound
Your telephone make a clicking sound when you use it
The mirror in the bath room has a different shade to it
Your car radio won’t work
1. Your telephone make a clicking sound when you use it.
2. Your car radio won’t work!
For 3+ decades our home phone, and business lines were via a famous 3 letter phone provider. Clicking sounds and ending of the clicking sounds when we dialed a number from either line.
That stopped about a decade ago when we went to another organization.
About ten years ago PGE installed a smart meter for the electricity, we use and what appear to be a smart meter for our gas use age.
Supposedly, our city installed smart meters to measure our water use. What electrical signal can penetrate 3+ feet of soil. Our water meter is at least 3+’ from the surface.
Jordan Peterson is always excellent. Thanks for posting that link.
Smart meters are getting trendy so much RF transmitted it’s wonder more things aren’t ticking and clicking.
“Smart meters are getting trendy so much RF transmitted it’s wonder more things aren’t ticking and clicking.”
A guy in his early 70’s and a semi retired engineer drops by to just visit while riding his battery powered skateboard.
Our home is undergoing a 3 years renew job and one of the workers was semi under the house replacing the clothes dryer exhaust. He and I were discussing the various smart meters we have monitoring our homes, when the semi retired engineer rolled up our driveway. We got him into the conversation.
The obvious smart meters are labeled as such.
However, there is no aerial and anything attached to our water meter 3-5’ below the topsoil/rocks/etc. The meter is at least 20 yards from our home with no electronic connections near it.
The semi retired engineer was stumped and will discuss how our water meters are supposedly working 3-5’ below the ground with his fellow engineers.
The meter is at least 20 yards from our home with no electronic connections near it.
Got to remember if the signal can reach the electric Co. the RF travels a long way.
“Got to remember if the signal can reach the electric Co. the RF travels a long way.”
The nearest powerline is across the street about 40’ high and no power lines on the meter side of the street nor above it.
About a decade ago, supposedly PGE had a special vehicle drive by and read your smart meter. That faded away, and we supposedly now have the smart meters connected to our power and our internet cable.
I have sleep apnea and use a CPap machine at night to breath. Supposedly, our smart meter is aware of that and gives the me the last bit of power in a power failure. I now have two solar powered backup units during a power outage, the units then provide backup power to my Cpap machine.
Last fall, we apparently had a 3-4 hour total power failure, and the smaller unit auto kicked in and provided power to my cpap machine. My wife woke up during the power failure. Everything in the bedroom was off and/or dark.
My CPap was still functioning. Then, the power came back on after 3-4 hours. I didn’t know that. My little unit worked the way it was supposed to. It kicked in when the power failure hit, and it quit when our power was back on.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.