Posted on 08/12/2022 8:29:33 AM PDT by sodpoodle
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” – Ambrose Bierce
“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz
“At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers
“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Nick Suhadolnik
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” – Benny Hill
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea
“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” – Casey Stengel
“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.” – Dave Barry
“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” – Edward Abbey
“How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.” – Emo Philips
“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.” – George Burns
And my favorite:
“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” – Benjamin Franklin
Bierce also said, “A son does not learn how to become a son, until he becomes a father.”
“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.” - Robert A. Heinlein
LOL!
Thanks, I needed that!
“Hindsight is 20/20. Foresight is 50/50.”
Eccl 10:2
“It’s so crowded, nobody does there anymore” Yogi
Truth sounds like hate to those who hate truth.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
In before “wherever you go, there you are”.
A rolling stone gathers no moss. But it does gather speed.
Thanks!
Life is like an ice cream cone: you must learn to lick it.
Update my tag line with one from you list! Thanks
“Don’t sweat old age, it doesn’t last very long.”
“Never blame on malice that which stupidity explains”
When you come to the fork in the road, take it. By Yogi Berra, of the New York Yankees.
Lawrence Peter Berra got the nickname Yogi during his teenage years, when he was playing American Legion Baseball. One afternoon, after attending a movie that had a short piece on India, a friend Jack Maguire noticed a resemblance between him and the “yogi”, or person who practiced yoga, on the screen. Maguire said “I’m going to call you Yogi,” and from that moment on, the name stuck.
DID YOU KNOW
THAT YOGI BERRA PROVIDED ANTI-AIRCRAFT COVER AS A GUNNER'S MATE ABOARD A BOAT DURING THE NORMANDY INVASION ON D-DAY?
But a wandering bee gathers the honey.
My favorite “Yogi-ism”:
“The towels were so thick there that I could barely close my suitcase!!!”.....
Life is like a crap sandwich
The more bread you have
The less crap you have to eat
Obviously I meant “goes” not “does”.
I didn’t know those Yogi stories. Thanks.
Good one.
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