Brittney Griner Rewarded With 9 Years Of Not Hearing The U.S. National Anthem

The Babylon Bee ^ | Aug 4, 2022 | Babylon Bee

[fwdude]

MOSCOW — WNBA star Brittney Griner has been found guilty of drug trafficking charges in Russia. The judge has sentenced Griner to 9 years in a Russian penal colony where she will never have to hear America's national anthem being played.

"I'm thrilled with this ruling," said Griner to reporters. "For 9 years I will be free from the systemic racism of America and will never have to hear that awful national anthem being played. I look forward to living out the next decade far away in beautiful Russia."

[fwdude]

HaHa! Searing satire delivered right where it belongs.

[PghBaldy]

This will tick off the right people.

[dynachrome]

I hope they make her stand for the Russian anthem.

[Governor Dinwiddie]

For once, justice was served.

[Chode]

LOL!!!

but i’d rather they play it in it’s cell 24/7...

[Drew68]

Biden will get her home. It will not be without a high cost though. If I were Putin, I'd at the very least demand the easing of sanctions and the return of seized assets, in addition to Viktor Bout's release.

All for a pothead sportsball player.

[colorado tanker]

We’ve all been feeling some schadenfreude about this.

[dainbramaged]

The man without a country.

[BenLurkin]

Bump
To
The
Top!

[cgbg]

“I hope they make her stand for the Russian anthem.”

It will have to kneel—too tall for the Siberian igloos.

[Paladin2]

It’s just like sitting in the locker room for 9 years.

[joshua c]

the russians will wake her up every morning with The Star Spangled Banner

[cgbg]

“If I were Putin, I’d at the very least demand the easing of sanctions and the return of seized assets, in addition to Viktor Bout’s release.”

Confidential sources have indicated that Putin will include the condition that Bidet stop stroking the hair of little girls.

;-)

[wny]

Good for her, she’s escaped the racist hellhole she used to call home….

[D Rider]

I wonder how much the Russians would charge to wake her up with the Star Spangled Banner every morning? I could throw in a few bucks for that.

[Publius]

Reminds me of Edward Everett Hale’s short story “The Man Without a Country.”

[Honorary Serb]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOAtz8xWM0w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy-Tfhcx-2k

Aw, phooey! Just exchange her for two Russian prisoners!!!!

[Michael.SF.]

LOL. Another score for the Bee.

Actually, if the Rooskies really want to punish her they would play a song list like this continuously for her:

National anthem -- Whitney Houston version
God Bless America -- Ethel Merman
America --Ray Charles version
National Anthem - Roseanne Barr Version
This land is my land -- Woody Guthrie
National Anthem - Jose Feliciano
God Bless the USA -- Lee Greenwood
National Anthem -- Jimi Hendrix
Yankee Doodle Dandy-- James Cagney<
National anthem -- Fergie version
I fought the Law (and the law won) -- Bobby Fuller Four (just for good measure

[stockpirate]

I hope they play to her every morning and at bedtime

[artichokegrower]

Brittney Griner: National anthem has no place in WNBA, sports

Jason Owens
July 27, 2020

Brittney Griner didn’t take the floor for the national anthem during the Phoenix Mercury’s debut in the WNBA bubble on Saturday.

Don’t expect her to do so moving forward.

The Mercury center and 2019 league MVP runner-up told reporters on a video call Monday that the WNBA should stop playing the anthem this season.

“I honestly feel we should not play the national anthem during our season,” Griner said, per The Arizona Republic. “I think we should take that much of a stand.”