I would so love for somebody to ask me what my pronouns are.
My pronouns? Why, I don’t have any. None.
Let the libs figure out how to address me!
What are your pronouns?
I’ve never been asked, but my preferred response would be. ‘I like to remain mysterious, so I’ll leave it to your imagination’.
(My husband insists on being called ‘High God King’, or ‘One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple People Eater’ - depending upon the milieu.)
Gator & hungry. Is that them? 🙂
I chose Sire and Mi’lord
;’}
Thanks for the chuckle before bedtime, lol. I was just reading some stuff from the veterans administration. They were wanting you to put in your preferred pronoun into the system. WTH. I’m surprised the new slogan isn’t “Thank you for your gayness” instead of service. /s
There were more than 50 options. One of those options was a checkbox "Other" and upon checking it, I was presented with a box to fill out.
So I did. I typed in the first thing that popped into my head:
Lord Master Hizzog of the Planet Zork!
I subscribe to Rush Limbaugh's "demonstrate absurdity by being absurd".
That triggered calls from my co-workers asking "How did you do that?"
I responded "do what?"
As it turned out, that form was setup to update our email signatures, online status with our "pronouns" and more. Within minutes of checking "Other" and filling in "Lord Master Hizzog of the Planet Zork!" that's what my pronouns were set to, across our email, HR, phone system, Sharepoint and more.
Then the call from H.R. came. They told me I couldn't choose that pronoun.
I asked "why not?"
"Because you can't!" was the response.
So I asked why the box "Other" was there.
Silence.
"Will you change it?" I was asked.
Nope was my reply. If our H.R. had gone so f'n woke that they'd put 50+ pronouns in for people to choose, and have an "Other" box then by God, I was gonna choose the Other box and be absurd about it.
A threat by HR to involve our Corporate Attorney was met with laughter by me. "Please tell Darryl I said hello and I've missed playing in the band with him."
"You know Darryl?" they asked.
"Yes, and I've been to his home."
I can only imagine Darryl's response when H.R. told him what I did, I imagine he laughed his ass off. He and I share a very similar sense of humor.
A few more attempts were made to get me to change it by re-sending the email link to choose my pronouns, those all went in the Deleted folder.
To this day, several years later, I still show up as Lord Master Hizzog of the Planet Zork and there's not a damn' thing they can do about it because they know it'll trigger a lawsuit.
One last thing: my long term girlfriend worked in HR for decades. When I told her what I did, she too laughed her ass off. Said it was brilliant and that there was nothing HR could do about it since they allowed me to fill in "Other" and choose "Lord Master Hizzog of the Planet Zork!"
Our HR eff'd up big time and I suspect they finally came to that realization.
Mine are “Your Majesty” and “Genius”
Mine are Master and Commander.
2. Your pronouns for yourself? How about “beans and franks”?
From “CSI” tv show of yore.