Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Aging is NOT funny!
email from a friend | 7/30/2022 | multiple

Posted on 07/30/2022 10:44:52 AM PDT by sodpoodle

Funny Aging Quotes

"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise,

get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will

Rogers

"We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more

and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis

"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci “

"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." -

Jennifer Yane

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there

is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir

"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. -

Mark Twain

"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all

by itself." - Tom Wilson

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose

your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller

"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my

ears meet." - Rita Rudner

"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller

"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins

“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash

"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." – Unknown

"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns

“I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." – Unknown

"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton

"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot

"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers

"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns

"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault

"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." –

Unknown

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney 🤔

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino

"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead."

- John Mendoza

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."-

George Carlin

"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope

"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you

know?"- Barry Cryer

"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker

"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." –

Anonymous

“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have

to remember it.” - George Burns

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien

"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein

"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie

"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." -

Joel Plaskett

"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg

"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings

"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." – Unknown

"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns

"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns

"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: aging; humor; life
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-79 next last
To: sodpoodle

we were young once


41 posted on 07/30/2022 12:31:36 PM PDT by Chickensoup ( Leftists totalitarian fascists are eradicating conservatives. Leftists are genocidal. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Old age starts at 70 and last as long as you do.


42 posted on 07/30/2022 1:30:28 PM PDT by TribalPrincess2U
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Bkmk - Thanks!


43 posted on 07/30/2022 1:35:18 PM PDT by Donkey Odious ( Adapt, improvise, and overcome - now a motto for us all.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: null and void

This one has become apparent to me as well.


44 posted on 07/30/2022 1:39:24 PM PDT by GingisK
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Gen.Blather

I’m going to need a pyramid or something for all of the stuff I’m taking with me.


45 posted on 07/30/2022 1:42:10 PM PDT by GingisK
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: GingisK

“I’m going to need a pyramid or something for all of the stuff I’m taking with me.”

This rich man wanted to be buried seated behind the wheel in his Rolls Royce with a cigar in his lips and a scotch in one hand. As the grave diggers passed the car to dig the grave one of them looked in and said, “Damn! Now that’s what I call livin.’”


46 posted on 07/30/2022 1:45:12 PM PDT by Gen.Blather (Wait! I said that out loud? )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

One of those is really good, and I can’t remember the other two that were excellent.


47 posted on 07/30/2022 1:46:30 PM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

BTTT!!!


48 posted on 07/30/2022 1:49:03 PM PDT by musicman (The future is just a collection of successive nows.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle
I wonder what the age breakdown of Freepers is, I expect many of us are in our 70’s and 80’s.

Spokeshave chiming in for the 80's

Eat healthy Mediterranean Diet,..lift weights and swim

Recommended cook book:

Ikaria: Lessons on Food, Life, and Longevity from the Greek Island Where People Forget to Die: A Cookbook Hardcover – Illustrated, by Koutsis.

49 posted on 07/30/2022 2:36:05 PM PDT by SpokeshaveReturns (Grandad Spokeshave)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: HartleyMBaldwin

I find myself wondering more about the hereafter. I go into a room and say to myself, “Now what did I come in here after?
___________

An everyday occurrence for me…😖


50 posted on 07/30/2022 2:41:26 PM PDT by telescope115 (Proud member of the ANTIFAuci movement. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

My contribution:
You know you’re getting old when hair stops growing where it’s supposed to, and starts growing where it’s not supposed to.


51 posted on 07/30/2022 2:44:09 PM PDT by telescope115 (Proud member of the ANTIFAuci movement. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SpokeshaveReturns
I remember air raid sirens

Rationing of eggs (powdered in green wax coated cartons), being sent down to the shop for 6 penny work of broken biscuits...the advent of plastics (bakelite) radio cabinets and radios working on the mains instead of batteries.

52 posted on 07/30/2022 2:45:05 PM PDT by SpokeshaveReturns (Grandad Spokeshave)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: SpokeshaveReturns

See....I forgot I already posted on this thread.....(”80’s brain fart”)


53 posted on 07/30/2022 2:49:43 PM PDT by SpokeshaveReturns (Grandad Spokeshave)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies]

To: null and void

I remember wheat pennies and silver dimes, quarters, and half dollars. Cool stuff back then. Even cooler now.


54 posted on 07/30/2022 2:53:26 PM PDT by telescope115 (Proud member of the ANTIFAuci movement. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Gen.Blather

We are the same age. You were a lot smarter then I was.


55 posted on 07/30/2022 2:54:49 PM PDT by telescope115 (Proud member of the ANTIFAuci movement. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: drwoof

I have been around here so long that I have been attacked with every possible insult and accused of every known heresy.

The older I get the less I care what other people think of me—we are all going to the great beyond together....


56 posted on 07/30/2022 3:02:14 PM PDT by cgbg (A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened
__________

Joe Biden could say that!

Thanks for posting these!


57 posted on 07/30/2022 3:04:42 PM PDT by telescope115 (Proud member of the ANTIFAuci movement. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Youth is wasted on the young


58 posted on 07/30/2022 4:00:02 PM PDT by Zathras
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: telescope115

I once got a 1909 VDB penny in change. Heart stopped until I turned it over and found no S mint mark.


59 posted on 07/30/2022 4:15:06 PM PDT by null and void (No world is so large that it can't fit within the pages of a book)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 54 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

WHAT?


60 posted on 07/30/2022 4:16:13 PM PDT by HereInTheHeartland (Have you seen Joe Biden's picture on a milk carton?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-79 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson