Posted on 06/23/2022 7:53:14 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Southern cops have a way with words! These are great. These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS.... 16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
You are obviously the Olympic Gold Medal winner, and all-time world record holder, in "Jumping to Conclusions".
Have a nice life.
Wise man. All sorts of unsavory types show up in courtrooms.
Let’s just settle for sourpuss then.
I live in California and have people tell me all that time that rolling stops are legal.
They ARE NOT. The closest thing to a rolling stop is a yield sign.
I also doubt that rolling stops are legal in any state. I’ll stand by to be proven wrong.
I think at first he just saw it as a professional job as the county chief executive and judge and didn’t think to carry a gun, then after a few months of trials and judgements he decided that it was time to start carrying.
88
You can settle for being wrong, if you like. It seems to fit you.
Have a nice life.
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Afghanistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a
truck.
^^^^
This!!! LOL!!
Rolling stops used to be legal in CA.
“Kill all of the lawyers is the best lines that Willy ever wrote.”
No, the best thing he ever said was “Kill all the Democrats”. He said that to me privately a few years back. He was right.
Rolling stops used to be legal in CA.
I doubt it, but I'm willing to read a source that proves this.
A friend of mine and I were once going to a New Year's Eve party. Daylight was fading and we were on a relatively empty stretch of highway when we got pulled over.
The PA State Trooper came up to my friend at the driver's window and said, "Do you know this is the most dangerous night of the year to be on the road?"
My friend replied, "Yes sir, that's why I'm in such a hurry to get off of it!"
The trooper tried to hold back a smirk, told us to get out of there, be safe and slow down.
And it proceeded to tell some chunky lines
The need to take this deadly serious when it clearly isn’t is very strange
A sure-fire way of talking your way out of a ticket. Just ask: “What’s the matter? Dunkin’ Donuts closed?”
I’ve only read a couple of your comments. If you’ve been joking, I suggest you use the /s sarcasm tag so those of us who are a bit too literal can tell the difference.
If you are not joking but offering social advice, I suggest you lighten up a little. You’ll be glad that you did.
You’re welcome.
Police misconduct is deadly serious. Literally.
Most of the comments were genuinely funny. Sometimes intended humor crashes and burns, especially when it’s presented as “amusing things that really happened”. No. 6 is an example.
I have adequately explained the seriously unfunny implications of #6. I can’t understand them for you. You have to do that on your own.
Good luck.
See my Post #56.
You’re welcome.
Your paranoia runs deep
Dude…this is supposed to be for a laugh.
And we all could certainly use a laugh now and then these days. 😏
She took her first test and executed one perfectly, which caused her to fail that test. I laid into him for that, and she cried with rage at being conned.
Of course, she retook the test and passed it 100%, getting her license. That was about 40 years ago, but nobody in the family has ever forgot about it.
That's what was in my mind when I made that comment. However, here in Delaware, I have watched the natives here pulling a "rolling stop" in this city almost every time. When I make a critical observation to them about it, they tend to become real huffy as if they thought it was the rightful natural practice learned from birth.
Nevertheless, you often hear of someone in an incident because someone ran the stop sign. Rolling stops are not legal here, either, but people seem to get away with it.
And with it, a wise driver in Delaware will always wait a second or two after his stoplight turns green, because these drivers do not seem to consider it an acceptable defensive move to anticipate a stop in case the light turns yellow. In New York, not anticipating will get you a ticket. The drivers here are very aggressive. It was not like that in New York.
A photo-penalized stoplight here earns the city a lot of money, even though the clip is @125/ Go figure.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.