Posted on 06/23/2022 7:53:14 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Southern cops have a way with words! These are great. These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS.... 16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
You're doing 65 in a 55 zone. Cop pulls you over and asks if you know how fast you were going.
DO NOT ANSWER.
If you admit to 65, you've just admitted to a committing an offense.
If you say anything else, you just lied to a police officer.
Don't Talk to the Police Part 1
Don't Talk to the Police Part 2
Part 2 really explains why this one isn't funny.
A cop pulls over a speeder, walks up to the window and, with a devious smile on his face, says:
“I’ve been waiting for you all day!”
The driver responded:
“I got here as quick as I could.”
ROFL!!!
Everybody says that, until they need a lawyer.
“Officer, I was just keeping up with traffic.”
“We only pull ‘em over one at a time.”
—An actual exchange between a VA state trooper and my dad
Freegards
The last time I disagreed with a cop my wife corrected me.
I don’t know of any state that specifically allows rolling stops for motor vehicles.
My parents called that a "California Stop".
My stepdad was a county judge, but never a lawyer.
-Paul McCartney
;'}
I agree with you that celebrating official tyranny and obvious Fourth and Fifth Amendment violations is not the least bit funny.
On a few other FR topics today we see the Second Amendment right to bear arms being reinforced in New York and other jurisdictions. No doubt the police in those jurisdictions will respond to legal carry by stopping people at gunpoint (for officer safety, of course), illegally demanding that they prove they have a right to carry, and likely false arrests, beatings, and killings.
If it happens to any of the copsuckers then pardon me if I enjoy a tasty glass of Schadenfreude.
So did mine. It’s practically the custom in a lot of places (not just California), but still not legal where there’s a stop sign.
There are a couple of four-way stops out where I live that I often roll through at about 1 mph, because it’s a lot easier on the clutch. I’ll stop if there’s other traffic, though, or of course if a deputy’s hanging around, as they do from time to time.
If you’re gonna characterize me as a cat, get it right. “Sourpuss” is both ‘way to posh, and not nearly grumpy enough.
Your needs to be literal when someone is sharing humor says everything
This one is actually true. A lot of Californians are moving south.
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
Did you read it? The claim of it being truth takes it out of the realm of pure humor.
You are obviously a shyster that doesn't read well.
I have had at least a dozen lawyers in my employ at one time or another over my life time {which is the reason I hate all of them}.
They are all thieves and they only care about two things, their fee and winning.
There is no regard for justice or truth {I know because I've bought enough of the bastards to bride corrupt lawyers that have been appointed to the bench}.
Some of them kept me out {or got me out} of the slammer, and I still hate them.
Some of them won mucho money for me {that was mine already} took a large fee, and I still hate them.
Hang ‘Em High, he packed a 357 under his robe.
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