How to have SEX with monkeypox: CDC releases bizarre guide telling patients to 'keep their clothes on' or 'masturbate six feet from their partner' if the urge arises while infected

UK Daily Mail ^ | June 16, 2022 | Luke Andrews

[C19fan]

The CDC has issued bizarre guidance telling Americans infected with monkeypox to have sex by masturbating at least six feet away from their partner, among other recommendations.

Guidance from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says anyone who has the disease must not have sex.

[C19fan]

I find how the couples shown in the CDC info graphic are all heterosexual. Anybody following the spread of monkeypox knows it is gay men who are the primary vector of the disease. Just as with AIDS the government and activists are trying to gaslight the vast majority that we are at risk.

[Sacajaweau]

sure it was the bee...nope

[Tell It Right]

Loyal Dim voters will read these new guidelines like: “Does this mean most of the times I have sex I ought to be 6 feet from the monitor?” LOL

[DoughtyOne]

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[JohnBovenmyer]

British experience: 151/152 monkey pox patients admitted to being gay. The exception refused to answer whether they were gay or not. So zero admitted heterosexuals amongst those with monkey pox in UK.

[fruser1]

You've got to be f'n kiddin me.

[LibsRJerks]

Seriously? Now the government decides it can tell us how to have sex, where to stand/lie? How to quell our urges??

Lol, you can’t make this stuff up!

[EvilCapitalist]

Or Homosexuals could just avoid butt sex.

[DoughtyOne]

SphincterPox

[American Number 181269513]

With or with out a mask? It doesn’t say.

[achilles2000]

That’s the Jeffrey Tobin Rule.

[plain talk]

“Anybody following the spread of monkeypox knows it is gay men who are the primary vector of the disease.”

Yes. Gays started it but most of the spread would likely come from hetero’s and bi’s.

[PGR88]

The CDC has issued bizarre guidance

Not only is it bizarre, knowing how Fed.gov bureaucracy works, I bet it was the result of many hundreds of man-hours, meetings and emails to create and debate the exact content and wording.

[Bratch]

[Rebelbase]

Nowhere in the recommendations is not to have sex while you are pustulating with monkey pox.

[Sirius Lee]

LOL. If the oriface is an exit, do not sex it.

[TexasFreeper2009]

and simultaneously tells ALL THE WELL people to wear masks to prevent covid!!!

Nothing must stop gay sex!!!

but everyone else! your well and don’t even know anyone sick? TOO BAD!!! wear a mask!!!! close your business !!! don’t leave your home!!!!

but you homo’s... you can still have sex while infected with MONKEY POX, just wear a shirt!

WTH

[Tell It Right]

CDC: Though must have sex Tubin-style. LOL

Every time I read his name I can't help but think of a Weird Al type parody of Def Leppard's Foolin making fun of Tubin.

(Typed in my best Def Leppard voice.)

Close your eyes, don't try to hide.
Easy love is a fun time.
I realize now I'm all alone!
I said I'm Tubin myseeeellllfff!! background vocals: Tubin myself

[blackdog]

Monkey spunk.

[olivia3boys]

The CDC’s “masturbate 6 feet apart” picture is so very sad.

This is all so very sad. Is “6 feet” forever now a magical number? The CDC changed 6 feet to 3 feet for schools last yar. And I think the WHO always said 2 feet (in meters).

“Avoid kissing” reminds me of the movie “Pretty Woman,” where Julia Roberts (playing a hooker) announced she’d do anything except kissing.

The CDC bureaucrats who designed this cartoon were laughing no doubt. . .