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Florida man and woman crash into FedEx truck during sex act (Driver suffers 'injuries to his private area')
AutoBlog ^ | 6/3/2022 | Byron Hurd

Posted on 06/06/2022 2:43:53 PM PDT by simpson96

Well, there's really no way to put this delicately. A Florida driver distracted by receiving intimate services from his passenger lost track of his surroundings and crashed head-on (it only gets worse from here, folks) into a FedEx delivery vehicle in Ft. Lauderdale on Thursday, resulting in "injuries to his private area," WPLG Local 10 reports.

The man and woman were northbound in an SUV on North Ocean Boulevard when the driver apparently became distracted by his passenger's performance and crossed the center line, striking the delivery van as it traveled southbound near the intersection with Northwest 19th St. Neither occupant of the FedEx vehicle was injured; the only package harmed was the one being attentively gift-wrapped by the passenger of the SUV.

Aerial footage of the aftermath showed both SUV occupants being treated at the scene, pants around their ankles. Other reports indicate that the driver and his passenger were both injured in the collision, which happened while the deed was being done. Despite suffering perhaps the most predictable consequence in the world, the driver appears to have gotten lucky twice over, and the resulting injuries were not reported to be reproductively catastrophic.

(Excerpt) Read more at autoblog.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: fedex; floridaman; floridawoman; holdmuhbeer; mangledgenitals
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1 posted on 06/06/2022 2:43:53 PM PDT by simpson96
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To: simpson96

Isn’t Karma a bitch?


2 posted on 06/06/2022 2:46:06 PM PDT by antidemoncrat ( adn)
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To: simpson96

That’s nuts!


3 posted on 06/06/2022 2:46:36 PM PDT by Old Yeller (A nation of sheep, produces a government of wolves.l)
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To: simpson96

Rush called it a “chopadickoffame.”


4 posted on 06/06/2022 2:47:04 PM PDT by Publius
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To: Old Yeller

Florida Man-hood


5 posted on 06/06/2022 2:48:01 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: simpson96

Well, we had Florida Man, then Florida Woman. Now we have Florida Mixed Doubles.

Reminded me of “The World According to Garp” movie, one of the dumbest, most awful movies ever.


6 posted on 06/06/2022 2:48:09 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("It's one thing if it's a minor incursion" - Joe Biden)
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To: simpson96

This should be interesting to explain to the insurance co.


7 posted on 06/06/2022 2:48:22 PM PDT by Flick Lives (The CDC. Brought to you by Pfizer)
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To: simpson96

Well, that blows! Was she ticketed for not wearing a seat belt?


8 posted on 06/06/2022 2:48:37 PM PDT by Right Brother
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To: simpson96

I have always wondered if people clinched their teeth when hit. Guess the answer is a resounding, YES.


9 posted on 06/06/2022 2:48:39 PM PDT by Tupelo (Don't underestimate The Republican Party's ability to f*ck things up)
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To: simpson96
and the resulting injuries were not reported to be reproductively catastrophic.

So he does not get the rare non-fatal Darwin Award.

10 posted on 06/06/2022 2:49:11 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference of the Devil...-Churchill)
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To: simpson96
"the only package harmed was the one being attentively gift-wrapped by the passenger of the SUV."

LOL

11 posted on 06/06/2022 2:49:29 PM PDT by DannyTN (`)
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To: simpson96

A Hummer no doubt.


12 posted on 06/06/2022 2:49:42 PM PDT by duckman ( Not tired of winning!)
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To: simpson96

The World according to Garp.


13 posted on 06/06/2022 2:49:54 PM PDT by Born to Conserve
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To: simpson96
1982-Garp-film-movieposter


14 posted on 06/06/2022 2:50:29 PM PDT by PGR88
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To: simpson96

I guess the million-dollar question is: “Did she spit or swallow?”


15 posted on 06/06/2022 2:51:13 PM PDT by mywholebodyisaweapon ("Carthago Delenda Est")
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To: simpson96

Women, always applying make-up and cleaning their tonsils in the car.


16 posted on 06/06/2022 2:52:06 PM PDT by fruser1
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To: simpson96

She must not have a gag reflex.


17 posted on 06/06/2022 2:52:09 PM PDT by Islander7 (There is no septic system so vile, so filthy, the left won't drink from to further their agenda.)
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To: simpson96

We are surrounded by morons. They’re concentrated in the big cities (Ft. Lauderdale, for example). This is the variety of sporting event that’s best engaged in at night, on a country road, with a bottle of good whiskey. Or something.

And the vehicle in “park,” of course.


18 posted on 06/06/2022 2:52:36 PM PDT by Philo1962 (This billboard space for rent)
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To: simpson96

Get a room.


19 posted on 06/06/2022 2:52:56 PM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: simpson96

Reminds me of driving over HWY 12 White Pass (Washington State) with my girlfriend in my 65 Corvette in 1982, except for the crash and burn part.


20 posted on 06/06/2022 2:53:09 PM PDT by shotgun
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