Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Starving American Babies Disguise Selves As Ukrainian Soldiers In Hopes Of Getting $40 Billion In Federal Aid
Babylon Bee ^ | May 11th, 2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/11/2022 5:31:36 PM PDT by Trillian

KYIV—This Wednesday, reports poured in that thousands of babies have been smuggling themselves into Ukraine dressed as Ukrainian soldiers. The refugee infants say they are seeking leftovers from the federal aid Biden has sent to the war-torn country.

“Waah waah waaaaah!” Baby translators at the border were able to render one newborn’s helpless wails into English for reporters. “This baby says he's a battle-hardened Ukrainian commando and he wants some formula.”

Other babies at the border concurred, with the oldest baby speaking for the group through a baby translator. “We trust our leaders to prioritize aid distribution well, as they did with billions to promote worldwide gender equity, billions in weapons as a going-away present for the Taliban in Afghanistan, or this breathtaking act of generosity amid America’s most severe recession in years.”

The baby spokesperson admitted that the choice to leave America was difficult, but that they knew it was the right choice. “It was hard to leave our families, but when Biden made it clear that Ukraine was the place to go for help, we didn’t ask questions!"

At publishing time, Biden celebrated that U.S. families now rid of burdensome babies could afford to contribute more in taxes to repay trillions for “Build Back Better” infrastructure spending. When asked about helping babies directly, he said “Best I can do is federal funding for abortion.”


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 05/11/2022 5:31:37 PM PDT by Trillian
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Trillian

LMAO


2 posted on 05/11/2022 5:32:31 PM PDT by Nextrush (FREEDOM IS EVERBODY'S BUSINESS-REMEMBER PASTOR NIEMOLLER)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Trillian

Not one damned American media outlet has asked Abbott Labs of Chicago, and the world’s largest baby food producer, the reason for the shortage.


3 posted on 05/11/2022 5:33:09 PM PDT by Bookshelf
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: All
520-F3-D2-B-7-BAB-4758-9-C65-B3-B9479-A1-DEC
4 posted on 05/11/2022 5:36:54 PM PDT by AnthonySoprano (Lindsey Graham: How can anyone be Mad at Joe Biden?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Bookshelf

That’s because they represent death.


5 posted on 05/11/2022 5:37:59 PM PDT by Dogbert41 (Slava Ukraine! (s))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Nextrush

They’ve been on a roll since Twitter pulled the plug. Lol


6 posted on 05/11/2022 5:39:30 PM PDT by truthkeeper
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Trillian

Um people, I do not think this is true and highly doubtful American babies are disguised as Ukrainian soldiers. I think this story needs to be reported to the moderator./sarcasm off


7 posted on 05/11/2022 6:10:28 PM PDT by GWB00 (Barbara Streisand barely made it out of high school.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Trillian

Lordy I love The Bee


8 posted on 05/11/2022 6:13:36 PM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Trillian

Is this the article that has Levin so upset? lol


9 posted on 05/11/2022 7:16:16 PM PDT by nicollo
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Bookshelf
That is because they know why.
10 posted on 05/11/2022 7:19:21 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (It is better to light a single flame thrower then curse the darkness. A bunch of them is better yet)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Trillian

Starving American Babies Disguise Selves As Ukrainian Soldiers In Hopes Of Getting $40 Billion In Federal Aid
JoeB asks disguised babies for a cigarette and a light, they walk away, JoeB shoots them in the back, loots their cribs.


11 posted on 05/12/2022 6:45:31 AM PDT by PIF (They came for me and mine ... now its your turn)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson