Posted on 04/21/2022 9:36:36 AM PDT by xp38
Florida legislature has revoked Disney's self-governing status which means that some bold new changes are on the way. Disneyland in California will remain a popular site for human trafficking but the Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL is going to experience a dramatic overhaul.
Take a look at these exciting changes on the way:
1) The Hall of Presidents will just have 46 animatronic Donald Trumps: They are the greatest robots, maybe ever. Everyone says so.
2) Chip and Dale will now reside in separate trees: We can't let our children be corrupted by cartoon characters having too close of a relationship.
3) Avatar land will be turned into an IP someone actually cares about like Krull: Wield a sentient weapon and save the world!
4) Only the original Star Wars trilogy may be spoken of: The prequel trilogy is too perfect to corrupt with human speech.
5) The only country featured in Epcot will be AMERICA: America is like a highlight reel of all the best countries anyway.
6) All Disney princesses to be replaced with Melania Trump: Finally, real diversity!
7) Weird Disney adults who come without kids will be banned: Yessss!!!
8) Human trafficking is strongly discouraged: And no more kids on leashes, you weirdos!
9) It's A Small World attraction to be dismantled by tactical nuke: The area will be sealed off for thirty years.
10) Johnny Depp's character will no longer wear eye shadow on the Pirates ride: Will also incorporate ex-wife Amber Heard in a redesigned auction scene.
This reminds me of the days of yore when satire was simply satire, not actual headlines from 10 years in the future
#9.......let it be so
I’d be happy with #6 too!!
Bigly
110% support for item 9!
Can I push the launch button.
“no more kids on leashes”
Not sure I agree with that one.....on many occasions I’ve told my wife we could make millions if we marketed straight jackets for children.
Human trafficking in Cali DW will increase now.
“Can I push the launch button”
Probly have to auction it off to the highest bidder....all proceeds go to Gov. DeSantis future presidential runs......that’s right...it’s plural!
I hate to be “one of those people” but the Cali park is disney land not world.....I know...I’m anal.
#7- disney parks are for kids.
</chuckle>
YES!
More like ten weeks.
It’s done. Both houses voted to repeal Disney self governing law!!!!”
Thanks for the correction.
I hope I didn’t confuse any of the perverts out there.
Number 7 is funny. What is it about several middle age adults I know, with no children, that go to Disneyworld every year? One couple even goes for their anniversary. SO WEIRD!!!!
I'd prefer Cedar Point, as that is all about extreme rides, but that's half a continent away.
Oh I’m sure the pervs have it straight.
They probly share info on where the bathrooms are inside the parks.
Pervs gotta perv.
SMH
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