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Man Announces Sanctions On Wife After She Invades His Side Of Bed Again
The Babylon Bee ^
| April 15, 2022
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 04/18/2022 6:19:08 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Just for that, the Husband may end the day sleeping on the Sofa anyway, putting Rover on the hardwood floors. So the Wife can have the entire expanse of the Kingsized mattress all to herself for a week or 3.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Reminds me of the Benny Hill skit where the Russian and American side goes down the middle of the bed of a newlywed couple, and they need a visa to go to the other side of the bed.
3
posted on
04/18/2022 6:26:23 PM PDT
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
NAMPA, ID—Local construction worker and faithful husband Joseph Smithereen The sanctions blew her to smithereens.
4
posted on
04/18/2022 6:27:12 PM PDT
by
Mark17
(Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of a USAF pilot. USAF aviation runs in the family )
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I’d impose swift sanctions and she would like it.
5
posted on
04/18/2022 6:28:43 PM PDT
by
Rebelbase
To: Rebelbase
6
posted on
04/18/2022 6:32:59 PM PDT
by
Trillian
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Even after 35 years we sleep on a double bed. I’m allotted about 8”. I normally take more.
When we do a hotel we usually get a king bed. It’s actually weird to be that far apart.
I travel a lot for work. It’s not weird alone but it is when we’re together.
7
posted on
04/18/2022 6:34:06 PM PDT
by
cyclotic
(I won't give up my FREEDOM for your FEAR. Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Laundry machine? Now there’s a statement from someone unfamiliar with laundry duties.
8
posted on
04/18/2022 6:37:43 PM PDT
by
McGavin999
(To shut down the border tell the administration the cartel is smuggling Ivermectin )
To: McGavin999
When I was single I knew 2 types of laundry; whites in hot water and everything else in cold water. I pulled some clothing out of the dryer before fully dry so I could hang them and therefore not need to iron them.
Now that I am married I no longer do laundry as my Y chromosome impaired brain cannot wrap around the 39 categories of laundry and their separate treatment.
To: McGavin999
Do the sanctions mention anything about her putting her cold feet on him?
10
posted on
04/18/2022 6:48:41 PM PDT
by
Robwin
( )
To: Robwin
My wife is a congenital blanket chief.
11
posted on
04/18/2022 6:51:55 PM PDT
by
Fai Mao
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
coming over to my side of the bed, unprovoked, would lead to .... a back rub... /s
12
posted on
04/18/2022 6:54:00 PM PDT
by
sit-rep
( )
To: posterchild
“I pulled some clothing out of the dryer before fully dry so I could hang them and therefore not need to iron them.”
I do that now but wouldn’t iron them anyway.
13
posted on
04/18/2022 6:55:15 PM PDT
by
steve86
(Prophecies of Maelmhaedhoc O'Morgair (Latin form: Malachy))
To: Robwin
Oh no, cold feet enters a whole new category, that’s almost akin to chemical warfare.
14
posted on
04/18/2022 7:00:18 PM PDT
by
McGavin999
(To shut down the border tell the administration the cartel is smuggling Ivermectin )
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Mine steals the sheets and blanket and rolls up like a burrito and i freeze my butt off....
15
posted on
04/18/2022 7:12:33 PM PDT
by
waterhill
(Resist)
To: steve86
This was during the last century or shortly thereafter when I chased single women and went into an office. Clothing also lasts longer when you do that.
To: waterhill
17
posted on
04/18/2022 7:18:24 PM PDT
by
mrmeyer
(You can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him. Robert Heinlein)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
It’s all fun and games until the false flag chemical weapons attack by the dog who uses the distraction to expand her borders.
18
posted on
04/18/2022 7:24:33 PM PDT
by
Durus
(You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. Ayn Rand)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Snuggling is one of the perks of marriage.
19
posted on
04/18/2022 7:31:28 PM PDT
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(It is better to light a single flame thrower then curse the darkness. A bunch of them is better yet)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
20
posted on
04/18/2022 7:36:35 PM PDT
by
null and void
(Replace No Bail with Mo' Jail. The certainty, not the possibility, of punishment keeps 'em in line.)
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