Yup, you activated the 
trigga'
Posted on 03/09/2022 7:53:33 AM PST by Red Badger
The US was rocked by a military and diplomatic earthquake on Monday after Chinese leaders revealed that the Middle Kingdom has constructed an N-bomb capable of reaching the mainland United States, and is prepared to use it.
“If America persists in imposing its imperialist designs on China and the Chinese people, then China will not hesitate to respond with immediate deployment of the N-bomb,” Xi Jinping said in a speech to the Communist Party Congress.
Foreign policy experts quickly labeled China’s announcement as the worst blow to American strategic freedom in the nation’s history.
“America has built its entire foreign and domestic policy apparatus around never, ever allowing an N-bomb to be deployed,” said Harvard IR professor Michael Richards. “America has instituted draconian censorship rules, fired many of its most talented scientists and computer scientists, and erected a hugely costly and burdensome HR infrastructure, all for the sake of preventing N-bomb deployment. Now, China could ruin that in a day.”
The N-bomb’s effects are as unconventional as they are severe. When detonated in a mid-air burst, the N-bomb blasts out the “Hard R” N-word at a volume that can be heard hundreds of miles away. According to defense officials, the specific payload of the Chinese N-bomb is a clip of Randy Marsh saying the N-word in South Park, hearable at a range of of 275 miles.
Much as Achilles was invincible save for a lethal weakness in his heel, America’s global military and economic superpower status is hopelessly vulnerable to the danger of a single word. According to defense analysts, just a handful of N-bombs detonated over America’s major cities would utterly paralyze the country. All universities and tech companies will screech to a halt to undergo mandatory internal discussion sessions and “reckonings.” The military and Wall Street will have their senior leadership paralyzed by crippling new affirmative action requirements. At least thirteen percent of America will become tired, and communications systems will completely collapse as all journalists and reporters will be irresistibly drawn to producing op-eds and lectures about systemic racism and white privilege.
U.S. diplomats quickly condemned China’s construction of an N-bomb, calling it a flagrant violation of the N-bomb Non-Proliferation Treaty. China, however, claims to have received an “N-bomb pass” from Niger in return for low-interest Belt and Road development loans.
China’s rapid N-bomb development took the United States by surprise, as they were able to build it despite a lack of neighborhood enrichment facilities. American leaders had long assumed that America’s large lead in neighborhood enrichment gave them an insurmountable advantage in N-bomb manufacturing. However, America’s N-bomb production program, the Wakanda Project, has repeatedly failed to deliver results.
Curtis James Jackson III, a professor of theoretical physics and African-American studies at Caltech, said there was a critical error that led to America’s embarrassing performance in N-bomb production.
“China’s researchers had their enrichment plants focus narrowly on weapons-grade “Hard R” production,” Jackson said. “The vast majority of American enrichment is of the “Soft A” variety, which is only useful for civilian purposes and not military ones.”
Others pointed the blame at America’s safety-first regulatory culture. In order to minimize the risk of an accidental N-bomb explosion, Wakanda Project director Kendrick Lamar barred all Caucasian scientists from the program.
But N-bomb deployment expert O’Shea Jackson of RAND Corporation said it wouldn’t matter if America had developed a superior N-bomb first.
“China’s human and physical infrastructure are practically immune to damage from an N-bomb.”
Jackson said that U.S. researchers had explored alternative strategic weapons such as the C-bomb and the G-bomb, but all have proven to have far less destructive power than the N-bomb.
“Honestly, we’re probably f***ed,” Jackson said.
Yup, you activated the trigga'
Anyone who thinks the US does not have de facto social credit scores just has to say the magic word in their workplace—and watch what happens next.
“Is that a repost from Babylon Bee?”
I would think so.
It’s either satire or the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.
Rap music fans would not be affected.
Bill Clinton did away with the US neutron bomb program.
If the CCP launches they will get full response back. So this is just more CCP bluster, else is fake news.
Carter..............
Well, if they airburst a 1MT nuke over Portland, there won’t be any Americans killed.
This is satire.
Try dropping the N-bomb at your workplace and you will find out what nuclear deterrence is all about...
;-)
epitaph: a phrase or form of words written in memory of a person who has died, especially as an inscription on a tombstone.
epithet: an adjective or phrase expressing a quality or attribute regarded as characteristic of the person or thing mentioned.
Regards,
Thanks!
I did misspell it and let autocorrect fix it for me.
Side note;
Revolver did a Great job of
Breaking down the “Set Up”
Of Patriots on Jan. 6th.,
Is that 2 part article still available??-—
.
This is a Sota Funny story
BUT juxtaposed to Jan.6th ?
It’s a nude bomb!😏
If I was still working ...
You all do realize the the N word in English is the Dutch word for black? So don’t go there if the n word offends you.
Pure Chinese puffery.
No nation on earth can survive a nukular exchange with the US so long as the US has so much as a single ballistic missile submarine still at sea and in operation.
At any given moment there are +/-8 American SSBNs on patrol, each carrying 24 Trident II missiles, each tipped with eight MIRVs, each MIRV at least 5x more powerful than the Fat Man bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki. That means that a single surviving “boomer” can destroy 192 cities from a stand-off distance of 4600 (statute) miles. And the odds of any power on earth (including the US) being able to locate and destroy all of the +/-8 SSBNs on patrol is exactly zero.
Nuking the US would be an act of self-immolation, regardless who does it.
Okay, but——
Brandon.
Hi.
Help me here. What’s the N bomb?
Neutron? Nig#+$@ bomb? Or a biological weapon like the R bomb?
No matter, we’re all gonna die.
5.56mm
At least they are NOT going to use The Q Bomb.
“The Mouse that Roared”
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