Posted on 02/13/2022 10:56:17 AM PST by PROCON
(This thread used to appear periodically over the years and here it is again, original thread posted in comments)
OK LADIES - LEARN THE RULES!!!!!!
The Rules developed by National Fairness to Men Organization. This time like the "United States Constitution" these rules are developed by Men. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules for all women to live by! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
Rules for Women to Live By
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be!
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do! Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
šā¬ Bmk.
I thought this was going to be about the rule that you should posting pictures when a thread is about a beautiful woman.
Why are men exempt from the getting fat rule?
Do they really think a beer gut is attractive or manly?
Sheesh. If they want something nice to look at, they should keep in mind that we do, too.
Men need the toilet seat down, too.
If it’s so easy to work it that they can tell women to suck it up about changing position, why are they complaining about doing it themselves?
I guess it’s too much mental effort for a male to think that much about someone else to bother.
LOL!
Men need the toilet seat down, too.
If itās so easy to work it that they can tell women to suck it up about changing position, why are they complaining about doing it themselves?
I guess itās too much mental effort for a male to think that much about someone else to bother.
************
Or, it’s yet another B***s**** “issue” invented by women to complain endlessly about.
That was always one of my first indicators that a woman had to go when in a relationship. In every case, turns out she’s all about her. Bye bye.
Oh? And telling her to suck it up about the toilet seat position tells her it’s all about you.
She was fortunate you decided to quit on that one.
And make us one too, since youāre up. Pickle spear on the side please, gentlemen. š
All I can say is, my favorite booklet is, “Everything men know about women”. Of course, all the pages are blank.
Ladies, this one rule will transform your husband into a world class lover.
In our house the toilet lid is closed after use regardless. Problem solved.
My present for our 1st Christmas was an outfit that I truly hated, It didn’t fit me And I acted like it was the best thing in the world.
After that I asked if we could agree on not giving gifts. We would save that for our childrenAnd anything we needed we could buy for ourselves. That has worked very well for 51 years.
If my friends who were divorced by their wives, the primary cause was more often that they didn't make enough money than a beer belly.
Lol! That’s for sure! If a guy’s fat, “He’s just a big ol boy!” But women aren’t given the same consideration at ALL, with most men. (And, sadly, most women).
Christopher Columbus didnāt make it to his planned destination (India) either.
See, that's the humor.
Sounds like they got out before it was too late.
have come to accept that at 58 Iām too old for a womanās drama and insecurity so I got a dog instead
I bet lingerie is hard to find.
Seemed familiar and indeed it’s an oldie but goodie!
I’m part of a Christian Men’s ministry.
We have one, and only one rule.
Leave the seat UP when you are through.
Been married 44 years. I agree with it all except for the long hair.
And I never understood the toilet seat drama. Not sure why women think the seat should always be down.
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