Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

'Doctor Who' Ratings Saved As The Doctor Regenerates Into Dr. Jordan Peterson
The Babylon Bee ^ | 1-24-2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/25/2022 6:31:01 AM PST by servo1969

GALLIFREY—Reports indicate that just as the fallen Doctor was regenerating into a strong, powerful, diverse female, the 14th Doctor has instead taken the form of Doctor Jordan Peterson. What was certain to be the most stunning and brave—and not to mention the lowest-rated—season yet, has now been subverted entirely by the emergence of Doctor Peterson as the newest Time Lord.

“It’s like no—if you betray yourself, if you say untrue things, you weaken your character,” said Dr. Peterson when asked why he returned as a man. “For God sakes, you just can’t bloody well live with that kind of paradox in life, lying to yourself.”

Sources say the new Doctor wasted no time in setting his space and time traveling T.A.R.D.I.S in order, and visiting some of the worst parts and greatest villains from history. He first visited the Cybermen telling them if they actually wanted to call themselves men, then they could start by cleaning their own room.

“It isn’t obvious to me how Daleks are any different from lobsters,” said Doctor Peterson, landing on the Dalek homeworld Skaro. “Both can be vicious, territorial creatures operating within their dominance hierarchies, and yet soft and vulnerable beneath their impenetrable armor.” The Doctor proceeded to swiftly reprimand the Daleks to set their own life in order before they tried to EXTERMINATE the world.

Interest in the show has grown considerably following the introduction of this new Doctor. What was once a fanbase known for being a bunch of whiny nerds who smell is now being redefined as a fanbase of bold intellectuals who stand up straight with their shoulders back, taking life head-on.

At publishing time, Doctor Peterson had embarked in the T.A.R.D.I.S into his most bizarre timeline yet, an Earth where actual science was ignored and citizens allowed themselves to be oppressed by overreaching government mandates.


TOPICS: Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: jordan; petterson; satire

1 posted on 01/25/2022 6:31:01 AM PST by servo1969
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: KC_Lion

Bee Sting Ping!


2 posted on 01/25/2022 6:31:57 AM PST by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

It was All a Dream ,LOL


3 posted on 01/25/2022 6:42:27 AM PST by butlerweave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Well done Bee, well done.


4 posted on 01/25/2022 6:51:36 AM PST by corkoman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: corkoman

This is top rate, satire as truth!


5 posted on 01/25/2022 7:01:03 AM PST by Louis Foxwell (Hatred is the essential tool of the tyrant.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Have some friends who are absolute Dr. Who fanatics - multiple conventions and a trip to England, even. But they completely detest what has happened with it, and are hoping the new/old show runner can fix it.<p

Having him be a male again would be a good start.


6 posted on 01/25/2022 7:04:46 AM PST by Bruce Campbells Chin ( .)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson