Posted on 01/14/2022 5:17:05 AM PST by sodpoodle
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, “What's the story?” He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.” She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her driver’s license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together! Just yesterday they took my license away and now today you expect me to show it to you?”
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?” “Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.” “I thought so,” the doctor said, “Your finger is broken.”
KNITTING A Highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!” “NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”
BLONDE ON TIME A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex” and one was named “Timex”. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“Helllooooo...! ,” answered the blonde. “They're watchdogs.”
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
In the swim-meet, after the blond came in last competing n the breaststroke, she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.
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My experience-any blonde can have a serious conversation on any subject any time she wants to. Question-why should she?
No THAT RIGHT THERE, is FUNNY!
There’s always a bit of truth in a myth.
Difference is I can tell a funny blonde joke from a lame insulting one.
So far the carburetor joke is the only funny one.
That’s sad.
We're all just jealous. ;-)
“ My experience-any blonde can have a serious conversation on any subject any time she wants to. Question-why should she?”
Now there you’ve got a good question. There was a time the boys seemed to not be engaged in the conversation.
There’s always a bit of truth in a myth.
Difference is I can tell a funny blonde joke from a lame insulting one.
So far the carburetor joke is the only funny one.
What’s sad? Why?
You live with people discriminating because of and making fun of the color of your hair and watch your kids go through it you get to analyzing.
Blonde jokes
A Blond a redhead and a brunette were driving through the desert on a remote road. They met no traffic all morning. Suddenly the car stopped dead and wouldn’t start.
They decided each one would select one item to carry to help them survive their walk to civilization.
The brunette took a full gallon of water. The redhead grabbed a light blanket. The blonde started taking one of the front doors off the car. After 90 minutes it was finally off and they’re ready to go.
The brunette said, “I’m taking the water. We’ll get thirsty and will need water to survive.”
The redhead said, “I’m taking the blanket. We can use it for shade during the day and it will keep us warm if we’re still out here tonight.”
The blonde said, “I’m taking the car door. If we get hot I can just roll down the window.”
The joke about crapping in the carburetor is only funny if it’s a joke. If its a true story about how you and your blonde relatives actually think, it’s sad. And if you’re serious about needing me to explain why that’s sad, it’s back to being funny. I can’t explain why. I’m just a redhead. Maybe a brunette FReeper would be so kind as to translate for us.
No worries. My mind always goes to the complements from the boys back in the day. I can see their faces.
There were always enough non bigoted teachers and medical colleagues around to assist with success.
These work just as well as ‘Liberal’ jokes . . .
I may have to send the Redhead one to my Redhead friend!
Thanks, I needed that!
Ba da bing
People making fun of or discriminating against me and my similar loved ones is like any discrimination any of us faces. And we all do. So I read through blonde jokes I think, yeah I’d ask a question like that. I think literally. But that works for me on so many levels. I help my husband a lot I understand his language.
If someone’s bigoted that’s never because of me. Nor is it necessary for him to be bigoted. I just avoid him or her. They’re angry or hateful. That’s not because of me.
Is it an Irish thing? You can always make fun of Irish. There’s no hurt there. We either stop doing what we don’t like is true about us or not. So what
In the 1840s immigration Americans wondered whether Irish were people. The men became cops, bricklayers and firefighters and the women educated their kids. The most successful ones -women- told their relatives, and got them, to stop any drinking problem.
I can take a blonde joke. Especially if it hits on truth and it’s funny
The hatred could be jealous in this case. I mean blondes do have fun. They do get invited out by the fellas. And that’s fun
Getting teachers to stop treating your kids like dumb blondes is tough. You talk to them for a long time before you think we’re done here. Anything else she’ll just make it worse in class for the kid. You have to be honest with the kid and encourage them then show up with the triple major, double masters in the alumni magazine.
What do you call 10 blondes in a swimming pool?
Air pockets.
I think blonde women are beautiful and smart. And that’s no joke.
As a natural blonde I used to be extremely offended by these jokes. Now that I’m older I couldn’t care less because sure, they are funny! BUT...as a natural blonde I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt 99% of the most ignorant, stupid, brain dead “blondes” are bleached BRUNETTES! :) Only about 5% of men/women of European decent are natural blonde...and natural blondes are smart!
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