Posted on 01/12/2022 8:41:06 AM PST by JBW1949
Three elderly ladies sitting on a park bench...
A "streaker" goes jogging by...
The first old lady has a stroke...
The second old lady has a stroke...
The third old lady couldn't reach that far....
???????????
Ray Stevens is hilarious!!!
The amazing Martinez
It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775.”
“Very good! Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth’”? Again, no response except from Martinez: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”, said Martinez. The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.”
She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Mexicans.” “Who said that?” she demanded. Martinez put his hand up. “Jim Bowie, 1836.”
At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.” The teacher glares and asks “All right! Now, who said that?” Again, Martinez says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.” Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!” Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little beaner. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.”
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh crap, now we’re in BIG trouble!” Martinez said, “Saddam Hussein 2003.”
ROFL!!!! That’s good...
That’s exactly what I was thinking!
LOL that is good! Love it.
“Don’t look, Ethel!”
ROFL!! 😂
Reminds me of something a gay former co-worker told me about 25 or more years ago. At a gay establishment in Key West, there was an attraction featuring a buff dude standing on a table wearing nothing but a towel. If you paid a fee (I think he said it was $1), you could reach under the towel and give "it" a stroke. The more you paid, the more strokes you got. I think it was to raise money for AIDS awareness.
No, my wife told me the joke...
Here’s another one:
Elderly lady’s husband just died...She was so sad and lonely, she decided to commit suicide...
She called her doctor and asked him where her heart was located...
He told under under her left breast...
Later, she was rushed to the hospital because she shot herself in her left knee....
It was one from the old Friday funnies threads I had saved. Glad it was appreciated.
Viva Martinez!
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