Posted on 12/13/2021 11:05:34 AM PST by CondoleezzaProtege
If your spouse says to you, “I love you but I’m not IN love with you anymore” … OUCH! You are experiencing a big OUCH to the Nth degree! Even if you’ve said those words to your spouse, I say OUCH! Those words cause a lot of pain to a lot of spouses. And it causes a lot of pain and huge upsets to a lot of families.
When those words are given, you are either the giver or the receiver of that pain. Either way there are horribly hurt feelings that are involved!
Tragically, that phrase of loving, but not being in love with the spouse is being said by marriage partners everywhere we turn. It’s like a deadly plague that is pushed out in epidemic proportions. And it’s infecting and killing marriages all over the world. We call it the “in and out of love” sickness. That’s because that’s what it is!
Now, I’m not throwing verbal stones. I have to confess that this same insidious sickness invaded our marriage as well. A number of years ago, I felt the same way about my husband, Steve. I was tired of what was going on in our marriage. As a result, I just wasn’t experiencing the same romantic feelings I once had for him. I concluded that I didn’t love him anymore and that this “love” would never return..
Thankfully, God intervened and opened my eyes. All was not hopeless. I just thought it was. After some convincing, God then helped me to resurrect a new love—a true love for my husband.
Because of that experience, I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to pass along to you...
(Excerpt) Read more at marriagemissions.com ...
Divorced over 30 yrs ago. I’m not planning on getting married again. I like my freedom
“Whatever ‘in love’ means” - Prince Charles to the whole world regarding his feelings for Lady Diana.
I wonder if he ever figured out what “in love” means.
“All of this is particularly important as the days get shorter and colder.”
And all of this is important as our lives get shorter and we grow older.
What do you say to a girl friend you’ve been dating for a couple months when she asks you “do you love me” and you don’t?
It seems the first question is really for yourself ... “Why are you still dating her?” if you don’t love her? Apparently the infatuation phase has come and gone.
Without fuller context, her statement might be “translated” - she doesn’t “feel” the love coming from you that she is feeling for you ; she therefore wants to know where she stands with you. Just my opinion.
“Not now.”
Mrs DoodleBob will sometimes refer to me in public as "my first husband" and I will retort "just because I love you it doesn't mean I don't hate you, ya know."
People become confused.
We laugh.
And then they still don't get it.
I am the luckiest guy alive. I married up. She's the best.
“In love” is highly overrated, imho. It comes, it goes.
I love you seems better, perhaps fewer thrills but longer lasting.
If it is just for fun tell her.
She might be in love with you and wondering if you feel the same way or she might be dating you for fun and worried that you are getting emotionally attached.
Either way the best thing is to be honest and to make sure you are speaking the same language.
Love can mean everything to "I want to hop in the sack with you and then never see you again" to "I want us to get married, have kids and spend the rest of our life together."
How about “no.”
Or if you seriously want to lie kindly, “Not yet.”
Or seriously honest, “Fuggedaboudit.”
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