Posted on 11/14/2021 1:45:33 PM PST by sodpoodle
A man had two of the best tickets for the Masters. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No", he says, "the seat is empty.
"This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this, the biggest golfing event of the whole world, and not use it?"
He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife always would come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Masters we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else? A friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head.
"No. They're all at the funeral.
LOL Thanks. I love joke-sharing posts. Along the same line here’s another:
There were two guys playing golf, and a funeral passed, so one guy stopped, and waited for the funeral to pass before continuing with his game.
His companion complimented him on his respect for the funeral, to which the guy replied, ‘Well, its the least I could do, we were married for forty years!’
The other golfer says, "Wow, that really is a touching show of respect".
The first golfer says "Well, after all, we were married for over 35 years."
LOL, that joke has been making its rounds among golfers forever...
Depends if there's a thunderstorm.
Not a funeral, but a golf joke...
Jesus and Moses were playing golf...They were on the tee at a 170 yard par 3 with a big pond in front...
Jesus pulled out his 7 iron and Moses said, “Don’t you think the 5 iron would be better here?”
Jesus said, “I saw Arnold Palmer hit a 7 iron tight here the other day and if he can do it, so can I...”
Jesus promptly hit his ball in the water...
Moses parted the water and went out a got jesus’ ball...”Now, use the 5 iron.” he said...
Jesus teed the ball back up and said, “Nope...If Arnold can do it, I can too...”
he swings and hits it in the water again...
As Jesus walks out across the water to get his ball, the group behind them walks up to the tee...
One guy sees Jesus walking on the water and exclaims, “Who does he think he is?? Jesus???”{
Moses turns and says, “Nah...He KNOWS he’s Jesus...He thinks he’s Arnold Palmer!!!”
Frantically searching for the “like” button...!
LOL....Love ya Sod....Sac
What is the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes Whack Damn
A skydiver goes Damn Whack
Good laugh. Thanks.
LOL!
I have heard God mentioned on the golf course several times. I was usually just as a ball sliced over the out trees or just splashed in the pond.
That’s a very clever joke.
A pastor decides one gorgeous Sunday morning to go golfing and skip services altogether. He drives 2 towns over to play golf where no one knows him. He has the best game of his life, 3 holes in one, under par on every other hole. Meanwhile St. Peter and God are watching him play. St. Peter says, “Lord, you are being extremely generous, I mean after him skipping church and all” God just smiles and asks Peter, “Who’s he going tell?”
A husband and wife are out playing golf and they come to the 14th hole, which features an old barn along the right side of the fairway. The wife hits her tee shot right up against the barn.
The husband says ‘ no problem honey. I’ll open the barn doors and you can hit right through it’. She agrees and he opens the doors. She nails an iron and unfortunately strikes her husband square in the forehead as he’s standing on the other side of the barn. He is dead before he hits the ground.
Years pass and the woman remarries and continues to play golf. As fate would have it one day she is playing the same course where her husband died, but with her new spouse. And on the 14th hole she again drives it right up against the old barn.
‘No problem, honey, I’ll open the barn doors and you can punch a shot right through.’ her new husband offers.
She replies ‘I don’t think so. Last time I tried that I took a double bogey.’
You know why it is called ‘golf’? Because ‘sh__’ was already used. However, on the courses, many people seem to forget this distinction!
“A skydiver goes Damn Whack”
Have a kid that skydives but thought learning to ride a bike was too dangerous.
He told me he joined a club at his school to meet girls.
The Sky Diving Club! Now he has over 200 jumps.
I’ll never understand this thought process.
*LOL* That’s a good one...
For future reference. ROFL...
That’s a keeper.
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