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Instead Of Kryptonite, New LGBTQ+ Superman Will Be Crippled By Anyone Using Wrong Pronouns
Babylon Bee ^
| 10-16-21
| Babylon Bee (who else)
Posted on 10/16/2021 6:13:59 PM PDT by dynachrome
The brilliant and courageous writers at DC Comics have announced that Superman is now gay, and his pronouns are they/them as he is also non-binary. Now, instead of Kryptonite, he will be rendered completely powerless by anyone who addresses him using the wrong pronouns.
"I'll finally defeat Superman! He's such a liberal snowflake!" says right-wing transphobe Lex Luthor to reporters in the latest issue.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cries gay Superman in response as he withers to the ground in shrieks of agony. "I'm non-binary! It should be 'THEY is such a snowflake!' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Writers confirmed that gay Superman will gay-save the world and gay-stop hate crimes with his gay superpowers. He will be completely impervious to Kryptonite but will be powerless against right-wing talk show hosts and trans-exclusionary radical feminist authors. First and foremost, he will be very, very gay.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; lgbtqlsmft; pronouns; superduperman; superman
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Superduper homoman to the rescue!
To: dynachrome
Can he make aids airborne by farting?
2
posted on
10/16/2021 6:15:48 PM PDT
by
Trillian
To: dynachrome
3
posted on
10/16/2021 6:18:15 PM PDT
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: dynachrome
LOL! The Bee nails Socialist Democrats to the WALL every week. Love. It. :)
4
posted on
10/16/2021 6:21:00 PM PDT
by
Diana in Wisconsin
(I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set. )
To: dynachrome
...his gay superpowers.Breastfeeding?
5
posted on
10/16/2021 6:21:25 PM PDT
by
Libloather
(Why do climate change hoax deniers live in mansions on the beach?)
To: dynachrome
What will this change to , Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings at a single bound—look, up there in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Superman , LOL
To: Libloather
Can he give “super aids” to Jimmy Olsen?
7
posted on
10/16/2021 6:26:53 PM PDT
by
dynachrome
("I will not be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.")
To: Libloather
"Breastfeeding?"
Oh no!! Gotham will be left to the criminals while Superman goes on paternity leave.
8
posted on
10/16/2021 6:28:53 PM PDT
by
mass55th
("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
To: dynachrome
Rachel Madow will be perfect for Clark Kent.
9
posted on
10/16/2021 6:29:09 PM PDT
by
Gary from Dayton
(Scary unvaccinated American )
To: Gary from Dayton
Bernie Sanders to play the newspaper boss.
10
posted on
10/16/2021 6:35:14 PM PDT
by
dynachrome
("I will not be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.")
To: dynachrome
Superduper homoman to the rescue! Seriously, someone tell DC comics they need to rename all their superheroes... he/she/it should be Superperson! But even that is too human-centric. How about just "Super"!! But that sounds too elitist, as if it/they is "better" than the rest of us...
To: dynachrome
Fortress of Solitude renamed to Snowflake Safe Space
12
posted on
10/16/2021 7:10:19 PM PDT
by
Secret Agent Man
(Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
To: dynachrome
Man of Steel now called Buns of Steel
13
posted on
10/16/2021 7:10:49 PM PDT
by
Secret Agent Man
(Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
To: dynachrome
14
posted on
10/16/2021 7:13:17 PM PDT
by
Deplorable American1776
(I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/21 at the NCGOP convention)
To: Libloather
Able to spot a fake Louis Vuitton or Givenchy knockoff a mile away
15
posted on
10/16/2021 7:13:59 PM PDT
by
Secret Agent Man
(Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
To: dynachrome
You really want to disable him,...
Refer to parents as mom and dad
16
posted on
10/16/2021 7:15:07 PM PDT
by
Secret Agent Man
(Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
To: dynachrome
Will no longer support any Superman enterprise or James Bond
17
posted on
10/16/2021 7:19:55 PM PDT
by
stockpirate
(Rebellion to tyranny is obedience to God., Where Justice Ends Tyranny Begins)
To: dynachrome
18
posted on
10/16/2021 7:31:32 PM PDT
by
Basket_of_Deplorables
(Convention Of States is our only hope now! Desantis 2024!!!)
To: dynachrome
19
posted on
10/16/2021 7:31:33 PM PDT
by
Basket_of_Deplorables
(Convention Of States is our only hope now! Desantis 2024!!!)
To: dynachrome
I’m thinking the X-ray vision has to come in handy.
20
posted on
10/16/2021 7:40:32 PM PDT
by
SaxxonWoods
(Let's Go Brandon!!!)
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