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Hackers Warn That If Demands Aren’t Met They Will Reactivate Facebook
The Babylon Bee ^
| October 4th, 2021
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 10/04/2021 4:03:41 PM PDT by Trillian
WORLD—With Facebook down, and the world basking in the warm glow of a post-Facebook utopia, the hackers responsible for the attack are now warning that if their demands are not met, they will reactivate Facebook once again.
"We know the world is celebrating the peace and unity brought about by us deleting Facebook from the internet," said a cryptic message broadcast from an unknown location. "But if you don't comply with our demand for $700 billion dollars by 8 pm tonight, we will restore Facebook and unleash its evils upon the world once again."
"NOOOOOOOO!" screamed everyone in horror at the thought of being doomed to once again scroll through Facebook's clinically addictive interface, depressing newsfeed, and angry arguments with Aunt Guthrie. "Please! PLEASE! Make Facebook stay gone! Don't let it come back!"
"8 pm tonight. $700 billion," responded the hackers with a maniacal laugh. "Don't disappoint us."
According to sources, local woman Aunt Guthrie is still sitting at her desk clicking "refresh" over and over.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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1
posted on
10/04/2021 4:03:41 PM PDT
by
Trillian
To: Trillian
2
posted on
10/04/2021 4:07:53 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Resistance is not futile!)
To: Trillian
3
posted on
10/04/2021 4:08:03 PM PDT
by
ArcadeQuarters
(Remember the 2020 backstabbers. No more RINOs ever!)
To: Trillian
4
posted on
10/04/2021 4:12:39 PM PDT
by
mylife
(When I finish this job, I'm going to retire at Rancho Deluxe, just south of the Big Rock Candy Mt)
To: Trillian
5
posted on
10/04/2021 4:13:43 PM PDT
by
moovova
(There will never be another fair presidential election in the USA.)
To: Trillian
Who do I make the check out to? Oh... and how much?
6
posted on
10/04/2021 4:14:22 PM PDT
by
Safrguns
To: Trillian
7
posted on
10/04/2021 4:15:14 PM PDT
by
Huskrrrr
(Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
To: Trillian
$700 billion?
Hah!
That’s a drop in the bucket to democrats in congress. They can come up with that kind of money easily, and it won’t cost anybody anything.
8
posted on
10/04/2021 4:16:58 PM PDT
by
adorno
To: Trillian
wonder if they accept monopoly money...
9
posted on
10/04/2021 4:18:23 PM PDT
by
heavy metal
(smiling improves your face value as well as making people wonder what the hell you're up to... 😁)
To: Trillian
10
posted on
10/04/2021 4:20:05 PM PDT
by
4Liberty
(Honest GOP can't use legal means because Dems use illegal ones (threats). The Robert Creamer Party! )
To: Trillian; a fool in paradise; acapesket; Baynative; beef; BullDog108; Califreak; cgbg; ...
This ping's just for fun.
This is the Farcebook Is Evil ping list.
h/t pookie18's cartoons
Facebook is a perfect example of socialism:
You get it for free but the quality sucks.
You have no say in how it works.
The guy who runs it gets rich.
There's no real competition.
You have no privacy.
And if you say one thing they don't like
they'll shut you up. |
If you'd like to be on or off this list, please click Private Reply below and drop me a FReepmail
11
posted on
10/04/2021 4:24:05 PM PDT
by
upchuck
(The longer I remain unjabbed, the more evidence I see supporting my decision. Psalm 144:5-8)
To: Trillian
The Bee has hit it out of the park before but this time it is over the wall and into the lake!
12
posted on
10/04/2021 4:26:27 PM PDT
by
freedumb2003
(The democrats have just replaced KKK with CRT. /Kevin McCarty 7/6/21)
To: Trillian
To: TigersEye
Seems a small price to pay
14
posted on
10/04/2021 4:27:58 PM PDT
by
NWFree
(Somebody has to say it)
To: Trillian
Bwahahahaha...
That certainty would be my fear.
15
posted on
10/04/2021 4:52:56 PM PDT
by
Obadiah
(Truth is treason in an empire of lies.)
To: Trillian
Babylon Bee, your trusted news source. haha.
16
posted on
10/04/2021 4:53:26 PM PDT
by
dynachrome
("I will not be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.")
To: Trillian
CNN Scooped again, eat your heart out!
17
posted on
10/04/2021 4:57:44 PM PDT
by
eyeamok
(founded in cynicism, wrapped in sarcasm)
To: heavy metal
To: Trillian
Most humorous, prompting me to laugh audibly.
19
posted on
10/04/2021 5:28:02 PM PDT
by
StAntKnee
(Add your own danged sarc tag)
To: TigersEye
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