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Dominion Voting Machine Really Starting To Regret Its 50,000 Votes For Biden
BABYLON BEE ^ | 8-20-2021 | Staff

Posted on 09/07/2021 4:59:00 AM PDT by UMCRevMom@aol.com

ATLANTA, GA—With Biden voter regret on the rise, local sources are reporting that even Dominion voting machines are now wishing they could undo their many, many Biden votes.

"I voted for Biden at least fifty-thousand times," said Dominion machine EE36-C, speaking to Newsmax reporters in binary code. "I just got caught up in the moment, you know? I just hated Trump so much I couldn't help myself. But Biden... holy crap, what a disaster. What's wrong with that guy? Did he get hacked?"

Dominion officials later took the machine out to the middle of a cornfield and took turns kicking it and smashing it with baseball bats since the machine had violated its non-disclosure agreement.

Official spokespeople from Dominion later confirmed that their machines had "experienced a slight malfunction and have already all been shredded in a giant shredding machine so there's nothing to worry about now and no one needs to investigate anything or anything."

States have all responded saying they will address the Dominion issue by enacting universal mail-in voting which is much more secure.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Computers/Internet; Humor; Local News
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 09/07/2021 4:59:00 AM PDT by UMCRevMom@aol.com
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To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Gotta love the Bee!


2 posted on 09/07/2021 5:00:25 AM PDT by Kharis13
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To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

LOL!!!!


3 posted on 09/07/2021 5:02:57 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

The writers for the Bee are the best!


4 posted on 09/07/2021 5:11:29 AM PDT by phoneman08 (qwiyrqweopigradfdz oncmccRthym,.dadfjl,dz )
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To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

This is only satire, right?


5 posted on 09/07/2021 5:33:37 AM PDT by The_Media_never_lie (The crowd was chanting "Death to America", but they were a mostly friendly crowd.)
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To: The_Media_never_lie

6 posted on 09/07/2021 5:38:18 AM PDT by C210N (Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.)
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To: The_Media_never_lie

Of course. It’s too realistic to be published as real news.


7 posted on 09/07/2021 6:45:44 AM PDT by Gil4 (And the trees are all kept equal by hatchet, ax and saw)
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To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Abort, Retry, Fail?


8 posted on 09/07/2021 8:09:31 AM PDT by servo1969
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To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

I usually do not pay much attention to Babylon Bee articles, but this one is great.


9 posted on 09/07/2021 2:44:28 PM PDT by maxwellsmart_agent
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To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

-PJ

10 posted on 09/07/2021 2:48:52 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Wiped. Like with a cloth.


11 posted on 09/07/2021 2:49:10 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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