Posted on 08/20/2021 5:23:14 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The White House has updated the American people on Biden's handling of Afghanistan.
"Rest assured, the President is all over this," said Biden's National Security Advisor Peter Piddlepants. "He is very in charge and competent and presidential, as evidenced by this photo of all of us seated at a very official-looking conference table. See? look at that!" he said showing a picture on his phone. "Nothing to worry about!"
As he spoke, an ominous-looking cloudy vortex began to swirl overhead.
"The real ones at fault here are the Taliban," said General Mark Milley in his latest op-ed piece for Teen Vogue. "They didn't play fair even though they promised they would! Not cool guys, come on! Totally sus!" As he said this, he ran in circles and waved his arms wildly, further contributing to the swirling storm over Washington.
Media sources in Afghanistan then confirmed that the Taliban probably isn't all that bad anyway, and this is all a small price to pay for getting fascist Trump out of office.
At the time of publishing, the hurricane over D.C. has grown to a category 4 from all the spinning.
No surprise, with all the hot air in DC.
DANG!
The hot air in DC is the sole cause of Global Warming. It must be eliminated to save the planet.
I like the idea with Joe in Delaware, Kamala in Saigon, and suddenly Hillary comes on national tv behind the desk in the oval office: “I’m in charge here”
TAKING A CUE FROM BIDEN, MAYOR LIGHTFOOT WITHDRAWS ALL POLICE FROM CHICAGO
(CNN) - Citing the brilliance of President Biden's decision to remove America's decades long presence in Afghanistan,
Mayor Lori Lightfoot fired every police officer in the CPD and disbanded the department entirely. "The Chicago PD has has been here since 1835
and this city is still the murder capital of America" she said. "More Chicagoans are killed on the average weekend than any city in America,
and they don't have gun control laws as strict as we do so the problem lies with the Police. The events we’re seeing now are sadly proof that no amount
of Policemen would ever deliver a stable, united, secure Chicago, that is known in history as the murder capital of America."
The Mayor went on to state that there is no way the gangs and street thugs will take over the city, and the former cops were instructed to leave their uniforms and service firearms on the sidewalk in front of the closed precinct buildings.
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