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A few good Christian Chuckles
jokes ^ | 8/9/2021 | multiple

Posted on 08/09/2021 9:56:22 AM PDT by sodpoodle

Christian Jokes

Creation An atheist scientist came to God and said, "We've figured out how to make a man without you."

God said, "OK, let me see you do it."

So the atheist bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful. But God stopped him and said, "Oh, no you don't. Get your own dirt!"

I Don't Want To Go To Church! A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, "I'm not going!"

"Why not?" asked his mother.

"I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me. Two, I don't like them."

His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you're 47 years old. Two, you're the pastor!"

The Coin Toss By the time Bobby arrived, the football game had already started. "Why are you so late?" asked his friend.

"I couldn't decide between going to church and going to the football game. So I tossed a coin," said Bobby.

"But that shouldn't have taken too long." said the friend.

"Well, I had to toss it 35 times."

(Excerpt) Read more at jokesclean.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS: everything; jokes
There are dozens of categories - read, read, read and smile;_

God bless

1 posted on 08/09/2021 9:56:22 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle
A Catholic, a Pentecostal, a Methodist, and a Baptist walk into a bar.

Just kidding. The Baptist was afraid people in his church would be there and see him. LOL

2 posted on 08/09/2021 9:59:28 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Tell It Right
A Catholic, a Pentecostal, a Methodist, and a Baptist go fishing together.

Just kidding. The Methodist thought the government should fish for us and feed even those able to work. LOL

3 posted on 08/09/2021 10:01:04 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Tell It Right
A Catholic, a Pentecostal, a Methodist, and a Baptist go to the hospital together to visit a friend.

Just kidding. The Pentecostal believes doctors and hospitals are sin when God will heal you. LOL

4 posted on 08/09/2021 10:02:36 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Tell It Right
A Catholic, a Pentecostal, a Methodist, and a Baptist go to a Bible study together.

Right away you know we're not talking about in China where the Catholics let the Chicoms pick the church leaders there.

And now I'm not laughing.

5 posted on 08/09/2021 10:04:36 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Tell It Right

You forgot these;)

The great religion in Arab countries is, of course, Islam. But Islam is also divided into different sub groups. The largest group are the Sunnis, who form the majority in many Arab countries.
In addition to the Sunnis there are many smaller groups, such as the Shiites. Besides Sunnis and Shiites, there are Druze and Alawites as well as Sufis.


6 posted on 08/09/2021 10:08:30 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly, carry tweezers.)
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To: sodpoodle

Thumbs up!


7 posted on 08/09/2021 10:22:24 AM PDT by LibertyWoman (Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Isaiah 5:20)
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To: sodpoodle

Druze make good food. At least at the restaurant I ate at when I was in Israel years ago.


8 posted on 08/09/2021 10:27:41 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: sodpoodle

The bottom line of most major religions is, “Don’t bother other people.”

And then there’s Islam................


9 posted on 08/09/2021 10:27:46 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: sodpoodle
Well, good Muslims are not supposed to drink alcohol.

So, in the Middle East, would a comedian start a joke with "A Sunni, a Shi'ite, and a Druze walked into a cafe..."?

10 posted on 08/09/2021 10:28:31 AM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: Tell It Right
Druze make good food.

I assume you mean that they prepare good food.

Back in the days of segregation, Dick Gregory went into a restaurant and they told him, "We don't serve colored people here." He replied, "That's OK, I don't eat colored people."

I think Larry Elder may have had a similar experience in the South when serving in the Army and had the same comeback.

11 posted on 08/09/2021 10:32:52 AM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: sodpoodle

Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Pentecostal missionary?

Didn’t taste bad, but he kept throwing up his hands.


12 posted on 08/09/2021 10:33:10 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam (While the foundations are being destroyed, what are the righteous doing?)
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To: Verginius Rufus

I know I’ve heard the late Dr. Walter Williams speak a lot of conversations like that while in the military.


13 posted on 08/09/2021 10:35:25 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Tell It Right
Druze make good food.

Taste like chicken going down, but there's a bitter aftertaste.

14 posted on 08/09/2021 1:53:40 PM PDT by Albion Wilde ("Let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late." —Bob Dylan)
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To: sodpoodle

A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The bartender says to the rabbit, “I think you’re a typo.”


15 posted on 08/09/2021 2:05:52 PM PDT by MIDad23
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To: sodpoodle

Three Democrats walk into a bar—they were too stupid to duck.


16 posted on 08/09/2021 2:06:39 PM PDT by MIDad23
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