Posted on 07/28/2021 6:42:43 PM PDT by BeauBo
The CDC has issued brand new recommendations regarding the wearing of seat belts. Health experts there are now recommending people wear a seat belt, even when outside the car...
When pressed regarding what gives the CDC authority to comment on seat belt usage, they clarified that these were simply recommendations based on the latest scientific research, for the sake of public health. When further asked how exactly a seat belt that's not anchored to anything can protect anyone, they replied with a statement saying "SHUT UP IT'S SCIENCE!"
The Federal Government has responded with a nationwide seat belt order for all public parks, buildings, and sidewalks.
"I don't know what's so hard about this," said Biden as his aides handed him a juice box and tightened his 5-point harness. "Just wear the dang seatbelt folks!"
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Now, this is funny!
I actually like this idea as a form of protest.
I kind of think about Gilligan with all his gear for some reason.
Those seatbelts are made especially for idiots wearing masks while alone in their cars.
They need a 5 point racing harness.
very wise of the good CDC people to protect us this way
very wise of the good CDC people to protect us this way
i don’t know what we would do without them!
The Bee never disappoints.
Indeed. Will keep in mind.
I mean, you can’t be too safe! I can imagine those mean ignorant right-wing anti-belters will howl at this but they’re just poor sports who could kill grandma!
Wow! That gives me an idea.
I could buy up all of those recalled car airbags for pennies on the dollar.
Put them in vest set them up so that if your cell phone detects you falling it ignites the airbag and breaks your fall.
All the Karens will buy them like hotcakes.
I take the money and run for a suitable country without extradition and live out my days in luxury.
When all the lawsuits start I am untouchable.
Lol Good one.
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