A joke.

[Jonty30]

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks, “What’s in the bag?” The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 12 inches tall, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag again and pulls out a tiny piano bench. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a Mozart piano concerto.

“Where on earth did you get that ?” asked the surprised bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says, “Here Rub it.” So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there’s a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. “I will grant you one wish – just one.” Said the genie.

The bartender gets excited and, without hesitating, he says, “I want a million bucks!” A few moments later a duck walks into the bar. Another duck, then another soon follow it. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, “You know, I think your genie’s a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.”

The man replies, “Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist ?”

[dfwgator]

What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

You can’t make a vita min.

[dfwgator]

What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog with one leg raised?

Shake hands, of course!

[The MAGA-Deplorian]

Heres a good turtle joke for them.

A turtle is crawling slowly slowly across the jungle floor, when he comes to a big tree. The turtle terrifled looks up at the giant tree and takes a gulp and slowly but slowly climbs up and up and up the tree, until he gets to the top branch and crawls out to the end of the branch and then slowly flapping his arms he jumps and down down down he falls to the ground with a thud.

When he wakes up, the turtle slowly crawls across the jungle floor until he comes to the same tree. He looks up at the giant tree, takes a gulp and slowly climbs up and up the tree until he gets to the top of the tree, then crawls out to the top branch, and at the end of the branch, slowly flapping his arms he jumps and down down down he falls to the ground with a thud.

When he wakes up, he again he starts crawling across the jungle floor and again heads back to the giant tree. There were two birds sitting on a branch on another tree watching all this. And one bird turns to her mate and says “Dear. I think its time we tell him he’s adopted.”