Posted on 07/10/2021 10:44:49 PM PDT by Jonty30
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks, “What’s in the bag?” The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 12 inches tall, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag again and pulls out a tiny piano bench. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a Mozart piano concerto.
“Where on earth did you get that ?” asked the surprised bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says, “Here Rub it.” So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there’s a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. “I will grant you one wish – just one.” Said the genie.
The bartender gets excited and, without hesitating, he says, “I want a million bucks!” A few moments later a duck walks into the bar. Another duck, then another soon follow it. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!
The bartender turns to the man and says, “You know, I think your genie’s a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.”
The man replies, “Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist ?”
A gay midget walks into a bar and kisses everyone in the joint.
Ducks and bucks are close enough that one can be mistaken for the other. But pianist and penis ? Not sure.. unless the genie’s hearing was really bad.
It’s a joke. Don’t over think it. :)
An elderly widow and widower were discussing the possibility of marriage:
She: And what about sex?
He: Infrequently.
She: Is that one word or two?
I recently had penis reduction surgery. Now I just have the one.
There’s only one way to make my penis 12 inches long. Fold it in half.
3 blondes walk into a bar.....
(you’d think at least one of them would have missed it)
“A baby seal walks into a club...”
“A gay, a muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar, the bartender says, ‘Hello, Mr. Obama.’”
A priest and a nun were sitting at a table in a restaurant, having lunch.
The priest said to the nun, “Tell me, sister, if you hadn’t become a nun, what would you have done with your life? What would you have been?
The nun answered, “A prostitute.”
The priest literally fell out of his chair onto the floor. Slowly, he clawed his way back into his seat, short of breath and his face as red as a tomato.
“What did you say?” gasped the priest.
“A prostitute,” replied the nun.
The priest then exclaimed, “Oh thank God! I thought you said a Protestant!”
There once was a man from Glengossil
Who discovered a remarkable fossil
He knew by the bend
And the wart at one end
‘Twas the Peter of Saint Paul the Apostle!
Priest: Reverend Mother, I was walking through town, and a woman offered me a “quickie” for 10 dollars. What’s a “quickie?”
RM: Ten dollars, same as in town.
Some people pronounce it pee-en-ist.
Saw this recently here on FR.
The pope is doing a crossword puzzle and asks a Cardinal, “what is a four letter word, is female, and ends in _unt?”
“Aunt,” responds the Cardinal.
“Yes, of course!” responds the pope, “Can I borrow an eraser?
The small-town priest was complaining to another priest about the theft of his bicycle.
“Well - you give a sermon on the Ten Commandments and they will feel so guilty about ‘Thou shalt not steal’ and they’ll give it back!
So the next week the other priest sees the priest riding on his bicycle.
“So - I see my plan worked and the thief returned it!”
“Aye, no. I got to the one about ‘Thou Shalt not Commit Adultery’ and I remembered where I left it.”
I heard it before with a 12” prick.
It’s ok to say you pricked your finger but not ok to say you fingered your prick.
Old Carlin line...
Are you from Nantucket?
The only way I will ever have a smoking hot body again is when I’m cremated!
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