9 Ways To Survive As A Non-Leftist On A College Campus

It's not easy being a non-leftist on a college campus these days. How do you remain true to your beliefs while being successful in a place run by people who want to cancel you forever? Here are 9 tips for survival:

1. Leave immediately: Leave. GET OUT while you still can! These people are completely insane. Become a union pipe-fitter. They make more than college graduates anyway. You're welcome.

2. Hide all your Thomas Sowell and Milton Friedman books in a secret compartment in your dorm: Hide them behind your alcohol and illegal drugs, where your resident advisor will never find them.

3. Become an underground mole person and never make contact with another human being: Simple. dig a deep tunnel underground, and attend all your classes online. Speak to no one.

4. Pay a pink-haired intersectional feminist to attend classes for you: May be expensive, but totally worth it.

1. Leave immediately:
After 2 2/3rds years I transferred to Christendom College. Not immediate, but did the job.

2. Hide all your Thomas Sowell and Milton Friedman books in a secret compartment in your dorm:

Friedman had taught at my college, so he and other conservative economists were acceptable. My Joe Scheidler and Joe Sobran books, on the other hand ...

3. Become an underground mole person and never make contact with another human being:

I took a different approach to avoid people on my floor with whom I wanted no part. I would purposely sing "We Are the World" of key walking to my dorm room, and would play my "Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits" 8-Track that I got at the Walgreen's for 50 cents. No one messed with me.

4. Pay a pink-haired intersectional feminist to attend classes for you:

That is after my time. A female T.A. in a frosh geology class ("Rocks for Jocks") raised an eyebrow when I responded to a question about how we can use magnetism in rocks to help with dating. In the margin I drew a stick figure of a fellow with a large magnetic rock, drawing an iron jewelry wearing female yelling "Help! Help!", he was chuckling "Heh-Heh-Heh!" She feigned offense, but found it funny. I guess that won't work today.

5. Start every non-leftist opinion with "Well, what would you say to my racist Uncle Bill who thinks...": Always blame racist Uncle Bill.

Gee ... and I just put up with being called a fascist.

6. If you slip up and accidentally state a libertarian opinion, end it by saying "...but that's just my lived experience."

I wasn't much of a libertarian, so I could only describe how things were in Connecticut in the '60s and '70s. Usually resulted in an argument about pizza and acid rain.

7. Challenge all the woke professors to call down fire from Heaven to consume a burnt offering: Feeling bold?

Gee, the closest I could come to that was being the only student to raise my hand when we were all asked if we prayed to God for a personal benefit (i.e. not for "Peace on earth" or some such). I also made a case for Papal monarchy as an ideal form of government in an oral final, but that was private. I was naive then, and no longer hold such a view.

8. Pretend to be mute:

I pretended to be drunk once on April Fool's Day as an opportunity to hurl a long string of insults at hostile classmates. It worked, but that was in High School Latin class. Does that count?

9. Every time you come to a test question you are unsure about, ask yourself-- "What is the worst, most idiotic answer I can possibly imagine?": That's probably what the teacher is looking for.

That did not work for my lefty teacher who had a policy of giving a "B" to every student, and assigned us to do a term paper (for Calculus). I did a paper on why I didn't write a paper. He was amused, but he still broke his rule just for me.

No way. I went to BERJEKEY. I SAW THEM.

I SAID “ whatever they’re FOR. IM AGAINST ! “

I sound say “ I love Ronald Reagan “. And quote ayn Rand

I would get in battles like one on fifty. And DESTROY THEM

I CSLLED THEM TROTSKITES. THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT I MESNT

BOY THAT WAS. FUN.

( had to learn to tone it down after marrying a hot social worker )

She does ALL THE TALKING

HEE HEE

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