Posted on 05/29/2021 8:36:23 PM PDT by ex91B10
Ran across this accidently today. Forgot all about this show and the talent it attracted. Enjoy!
I remember them well. I loved them when Don Rickles would speak. He would bring the house down.
Yeah, that was good times.
Rickles was always scary good.
The Dean Martin show was on for 12 years. No other singer or comic approached that. He was the best. Never saw his shows, but now they are gems, and enjoy watching them. Greg Garrison was his producer and partner.
Hilarious story of Sinatra and Rickles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tofCU78tYw
It’s even funnier when Don tells the longer version.
Yes and they were great!!
My favorite of his roasts was always Red Button’s “NEVER GOT A DINNER” routine. Very clever and good clean fun, but most of all, REALLY FUNNY.
It always starts with — “The question ladies and gentlemen is... why are we honoring this [man/woman] with a dinner when many more deserving people in history, never got a dinner !!”
He then gives a list of such people. Some examples:
John Travolta, who said, “My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash.” Never got a dinner!
Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
Joanne Carson, who said to Johnny, “Not so fast: what about the loose change in your pockets?” Never got a dinner!
Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, “No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You’re flat!” Never got a dinner!
Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, “I will not live in a house with a Little John.” Never got a dinner!
Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, “Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank?” Never got a dinner!
Clint Eastwood’s sex therapist, who said to Clint, “Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact.” Never got a dinner!
Goliath’s mother, who said to Goliath, “Stop running around with David! You’re always coming home stoned!” Never got a dinner!
King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, “Who doesn’t have a headache tonight?” Never got a dinner!
Saint Christopher, who said, “Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal?” Never got a dinner!
The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, “Who sent for all this ice?” Never got a dinner!
Long John Silver’s wife, Short, who said to John, “If the shoe fits...” Never got a dinner!
Moses, who said to the children of Israel, “Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before.” Never got a dinner!
Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, “Are you sure it’s a chest cold?” Never got a dinner!
Adam, who said to Eve, “What do you mean you have nothing to wear?” Never got a dinner!
Flash Gordon, who said, “No, that’s not how I got my name.” Never got a dinner!
Nostradamus, who predicted he would never get a dinner! Never got a dinner!
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, “Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer!” Never got a dinner!
Elizabeth Taylor, who recently built a halfway house for girls who don’t want to go all the way. Never got a dinner!
Noah’s wife, who said to Noah, “Don’t let the elephants watch the rabbits.” Never got a dinner!
Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, “Guess who’s not coming to dinner?” Never got a dinner!
Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!
George Washington, who said to his father, “Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President?” Never got a dinner!
Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, “I owe it all to one great part.” Never got a dinner!
Harpo Marx, who once said, “ .” And those words are as true today as when he first didn’t speak them. Never got a dinner!
An Orthodox Jewish vampire, who was so Kosher that he wouldn’t suck a neck unless it was salted first. Never got a dinner!
Julius Caesar’s wife, who said to Julius, “We are not naming our son Sid!” Never got a dinner!
Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, “How do I know how many wives I’ve killed? I’m not an accountant!” Never got a dinner!
Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, “Are you sure all we did was kiss?” Never got a dinner!
Steven Spielberg’s mother, who said to E.T., “I don’t care where you’re from, you’re here and you’re gonna get bar mitzvahed!” Never got a dinner!
Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds.” Never got a dinner!
Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, “Stop shaking!” Never got a dinner!
Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!
Jack the Ripper’s mother, who said to Jack, “How come I never see you with the same girl twice? “ Never got a dinner!
The doctor who delivered Mr. T, who said, “He slapped me!” Never got a dinner!
E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, “You look weird.” Never got a dinner!
Venus de Milo’s mother, who once said to Venus, “You never call me. Can’t you pick up a phone?” Never got a dinner!
King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, “Forget the alimony, I’ve got a better idea.” Never got a dinner!
King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, “For better service, take a number.” Never got a dinner!
Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!
Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, “Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show?” Never got a dinner!
Aladdin, who said to his wife, “I know it’s not a lamp, keep rubbing!” Never got a dinner!
Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, “It’s only a nickname.” Never got a dinner!
Michelangelo’s girlfriend, who said to Angelo, “Forget the paint – let’s put a mirror on the ceiling.” Never got a dinner!
Zsa Zsa Gabor, the only woman ever to apply for group alimony. Never got a dinner!
Orville Wright, who said to his brother Will, “We’re only in the air twelve seconds; how the hell did our luggage get to Cleveland?” Never got a dinner!
John Wilkes Booth, who said, “Sorry, I thought he was a critic.” Never got a dinner!
Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, “Why do you need an airbag?” Never got a dinner!
William Tell’s son, Telly, who said as his father was pointing the bow and arrow at the apple on his head, “There’s gotta be an easier way to kill worms.” Never got a dinner!
They don’t make Comedians like this anymore....
My Dad looked just like Dean Martin. It was uncanny. Those were great years.
and what a voice he had- every now and again he’d sing in a western movie too- some pretty good songs-
Youtube has one of Brooks roasting
Hubert Humphrey, saying he was his ‘68
for prez campaign manager. “I can’t see
how we lost.” Hey he just happened to run
the same night Nixon did.
“Just think, instead of Tricky Dickie
we coulda had Hubie the Booby.”
“You have a very lovely home. Incidentally, you’re out of scotch.”
Those roasts were funny... You can’t do those anymore. Especially Foster Brooks acting drunk. Liberals will find them offensive...
Watch later.
Every once in a while, the "Decades" channel runs the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts during their "Weekend binge." Unfortunately. political correctness is imposed on these broadcasts. There is a hilarious roast of Muhammad Ali by Foster Brooks that is heavily censored when shown on Decades. Also, there is a "warning" to the viewer at the beginning of each episode stating that "The following program was originally broadcast in the 1970s and contains outdated humor and cultural references."
Those were funny... Helen of Troy, a Hooker from Upstate New York... LOL, FUNNY!!!
Dean Martin was the king of cool in his time. There were none better.
Haven’t you seen any more recent roasts? The William Shatner one was very rude- it had Andy Fick, Farah Fawcett and George Takei in it.
The modern roasts tend to be pretty unimaginative and gratuitously offensive, it’s probably the woke version of allowing themselves one day in the year where there are no rules and they can release all their pent-up venom in (or laugh at) an un-PC rant.
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