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Army Introduces New Gender Reveal Grenades For Trans Soldiers
The Babylon Bee ^ | May 26th, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/27/2021 12:10:19 PM PDT by Trillian

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Pentagon revealed today an exciting new standard-issue piece of equipment for all soldiers in the United States Army: a gender reveal grenade. Instead of exploding in a deadly blast of shrapnel to neutralize America's foes, the grenade will simply detonate in a harmless puff of smoke to indicate the soldier's chosen gender identity.

"Our foes will cower in fear as our brave soldiers pop off a grenade that announces their gender identity," said a spokesperson for the Army. "Imagine the look on Chinese soldiers' faces as they hide in their bunkers and a grenade comes screaming in, only to pop open and bravely declare, 'It's a girl!'"

The Army has already performed field tests in the Middle East. As U.S. soldiers stormed an ISIS stronghold, one trans soldier screamed, "Grenade!" and threw her grenade, which exploded in a cloud of pink. The other soldiers applauded their sister in arms for her bravery. The soldiers were, of course, slaughtered by ISIS, who just shrugged and laughed when they saw the pink smoke. But what's important, according to the after-action report, is that everyone felt included.

According to the spokesperson, the old frag grenades will be slowly phased out, as they are harmful and triggering to the opposing side in a war. "We look forward to a utopian future where war is just two sides taking turns throwing gender reveal grenades at one another. Surely, that day is coming soon."

America's foes and geopolitical threats all said they are 100% in favor of the change.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; trans; transreveals

1 posted on 05/27/2021 12:10:19 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: Trillian

They’re gonna have to include pronouns on the name badges too


2 posted on 05/27/2021 12:13:52 PM PDT by bigbob
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To: Trillian

It’s very likely that the Left is getting a lot of their policy ideas from the Bee. Expect they will implement this, or at least launch a study.


3 posted on 05/27/2021 12:16:05 PM PDT by robel
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To: Trillian

Joe Biden actually fell for this one.


4 posted on 05/27/2021 12:19:41 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (Lean on Joe Biden to follow Donald Trump's example and donate his annual salary to charity.)
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To: Trillian; 100American; al baby; Allegra; BufordP; dp0622; DoodleBob; EveningStar; Gefn; ...

Our new, woke military. Let’s give ‘em a hand!

DANG!


5 posted on 05/27/2021 12:20:58 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: robel

Lol, truth.


6 posted on 05/27/2021 12:21:14 PM PDT by avenir
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To: bigbob

Gotta get rid of ranks too. The whole concept is imperialistic and anti-egalitarian.


7 posted on 05/27/2021 12:23:48 PM PDT by Boogieman
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To: Trillian

The Prancing Soldier brigade-


8 posted on 05/27/2021 12:51:59 PM PDT by Bob434
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To: Trillian

Whew! The Bee! LOL! My BP was ramping up!!


9 posted on 05/27/2021 1:05:30 PM PDT by SgtHooper (If you remember the 60's, YOU WEREN'T THERE!)
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To: Trillian

Bookmark


10 posted on 05/27/2021 1:17:25 PM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you care! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: Trillian
Those grenades are worse than the grenades the Brits threw at the White House during the Civil War to disrupt FDR while he was broadcasting on TV.


--- Joe Biden

11 posted on 05/27/2021 1:18:26 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Bob434

More like Prancing Poofters!


12 posted on 05/27/2021 1:28:48 PM PDT by matthew fuller (Biden's illegal presidency is a demonazi declaration of war on Americans and civilization.)
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To: Trillian

They go POOF


13 posted on 05/27/2021 1:36:19 PM PDT by butlerweave
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To: Boogieman

Ain’t no ranks in Megaforce, cep’t for the commander.


14 posted on 05/27/2021 2:41:34 PM PDT by wally_bert (I cannot be sure for certain, but in my personal opinion I am certain that I am not sure.)
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To: Trillian

Sounds fabulous!


15 posted on 05/27/2021 3:01:19 PM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Trillian

Thanks Bee for the humor... Love it!!


16 posted on 05/27/2021 3:41:55 PM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Rest In PEACE, Rush H. Limbaugh III. You are missed already...)
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To: matthew fuller

with wacked out hormonal issues that make them a danger to their units out in the field- Sadly the military is accommodating them and coddling the trannie’s mental illnesses- Lowering the bar further and further-


17 posted on 05/27/2021 9:13:30 PM PDT by Bob434
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