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Report: Melinda Gates Filed For Divorce After Discovering Windows 95 Launch Video (The Babylon Bee)
The Babylon Bee ^ | May 4 2021 | The Babylon Beee

Posted on 05/05/2021 11:09:48 AM PDT by xp38

MEDINA, WA—According to anonymous sources, Melinda Gates filed for divorce from her husband Bill after discovering a shocking video of him dancing on stage to "Start Me Up" by The Rolling Stones during the Windows 95 launch.

"Oh my gosh- my husband is a total dork," said a shocked Melinda Gates, according to one witness. "How could he have hidden this from me for so long? How could I have been so blind? Why did Bill hide this dark secret from me?"

Friends of the family say she quickly filed for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences", likely due to Bill's dark and dorky past.

"He always told me he was a cool guy and a really great dancer, and I believed him. I've been living a lie."

Sources also say that since the couple had no prenuptial agreement, Melinda will get Bill's entire fortune, leaving him only with Zune.


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Humor
KEYWORDS: divorce; dork
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To: Dalberg-Acton

Yup. A dork alright. A very RICH Marxist’s liberal socialist communist dork.


21 posted on 05/05/2021 1:25:55 PM PDT by RetiredArmy (Free Will. GOD gives you the choice I accept or reject Him! Choose Him. It depends on you.)
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To: xp38

I’ll never forget the Windows ‘95 launch. I remember seeing some guy checking out a pile of systems - must have been 15 of ‘em. He was steadying the stack to keep it from falling over.

He was gonna make a fortune SCALPING the boxes.

I wonder how much profit he made.


22 posted on 05/05/2021 2:16:18 PM PDT by FroggyTheGremlim (I'll be good, I will, I will!)
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To: M. Thatcher

That’s what Melinda is rumored to have said on their wedding night, “Now I know why they named it Microsoft”.


23 posted on 05/05/2021 2:40:24 PM PDT by Tucker39 ("It is impossible so to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible." George Washington )
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