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Report: Melinda Gates Filed For Divorce After Discovering Windows 95 Launch Video (The Babylon Bee)
The Babylon Bee ^
| May 4 2021
| The Babylon Beee
Posted on 05/05/2021 11:09:48 AM PDT by xp38
MEDINA, WA—According to anonymous sources, Melinda Gates filed for divorce from her husband Bill after discovering a shocking video of him dancing on stage to "Start Me Up" by The Rolling Stones during the Windows 95 launch.
"Oh my gosh- my husband is a total dork," said a shocked Melinda Gates, according to one witness. "How could he have hidden this from me for so long? How could I have been so blind? Why did Bill hide this dark secret from me?"
Friends of the family say she quickly filed for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences", likely due to Bill's dark and dorky past.
"He always told me he was a cool guy and a really great dancer, and I believed him. I've been living a lie."
Sources also say that since the couple had no prenuptial agreement, Melinda will get Bill's entire fortune, leaving him only with Zune.
TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Humor
KEYWORDS: divorce; dork
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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1
posted on
05/05/2021 11:09:48 AM PDT
by
xp38
To: xp38
2
posted on
05/05/2021 11:10:31 AM PDT
by
xp38
To: xp38
So funny. The Bee is the best
3
posted on
05/05/2021 11:11:39 AM PDT
by
FatherofFive
(We support Trump. Not the GOP)
To: xp38
To: xp38
Maybe true, but Bill Gates got heavily out-dorked by Steve Ballmer in that video.
5
posted on
05/05/2021 11:16:26 AM PDT
by
SamAdams76
(By stealing Trump's second term, the Left gets Trump for 8 more years instead of just four.)
To: xp38
Who gets custody of Fauci out of the divorce?
To: Dalberg-Acton
7
posted on
05/05/2021 11:19:38 AM PDT
by
ptsal
(Vote R.E.D. >>>Remove Every Democrat ***)
To: xp38
I remember attending an MS Developer Conference back in the day where Gates showed up for his keynote dressed as Mr. Spock. It was a good talk, and the MS Developer Conferences were always interesting and fun. I miss them.
To: SamAdams76
Yeah I noticed that but Gates is the one going through the divorce right now.
9
posted on
05/05/2021 11:25:02 AM PDT
by
xp38
To: Trump.Deplorable
10
posted on
05/05/2021 11:29:01 AM PDT
by
Ken H
(Trump won.)
To: SamAdams76; xp38
There was some old article that Bill Gates said Melinda was dating other men the whole time they were dating, and he was, “dating Microsoft.”
To: xp38
To: M. Thatcher
Nasty!
But me like a lot...:-))))
13
posted on
05/05/2021 11:40:13 AM PDT
by
ScaniaBoy
(Part of the Right Wing Research & Attack Machine)
To: M. Thatcher
Two words: Micro. Soft. Keyboard sprayed. LOL!
14
posted on
05/05/2021 11:43:13 AM PDT
by
Sirius Lee
(They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
To: xp38
That video is indeed cringe-worthy.
15
posted on
05/05/2021 12:16:57 PM PDT
by
Flick Lives
(“Today we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives.”)
To: Dalberg-Acton
what a savage...
16
posted on
05/05/2021 12:31:39 PM PDT
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there is no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. P144:1)
To: xp38; Gamecock; SaveFerris; PROCON
"She was heard to say 'Sweet fancy Moses.'"
17
posted on
05/05/2021 12:49:34 PM PDT
by
Larry Lucido
(Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
To: xp38
Melinda Gates Filed for Divorce after becoming fed up with windows 10 updates
18
posted on
05/05/2021 12:53:48 PM PDT
by
Pollard
To: Sirius Lee; M. Thatcher
Two words: Micro. Soft.
_________________________
LOL! Had the same keyboard issue!
I bet it’s true and in that case, I wonder why it took so long!
19
posted on
05/05/2021 12:55:22 PM PDT
by
proud American in Canada
(As Patrick Henry once said, "Give me Liberty or Give me Death!" Especially now.)
To: xp38
"Oh my gosh- my husband is a total dork," said a shocked Melinda Gates...Keyboard damage alert. Fortunately, I was drinking clear liquids.
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