Posted on 04/27/2021 7:10:24 AM PDT by servo1969
PAWTUCKET, RI--Hasbro announced today an exciting new playset for kids and little innocent babies: "My First Knife Fight," to be released under its Playskool brand aimed at toddlers.
The playset features real shivs kids can use to stab each other in an innocent street fight. Including a variety of knives, from makeshift shivs made out of toothbrushes and razor blades to switchblades and kitchen knives, the playset is designed to entertain kids of all ages.
"Raise your kids right with My First Knife Fight!" says the voiceover in a new commercial for the product. "As everyone knows, all sweet and innocent children love to stab each other in a good old-fashioned knife fight. Make sure your kids have a leg up on the competition with our premium playset -- you don't want your innocent little baby on the wrong side of a butterfly knife!"
"Get My First Knife Fight today, wherever great toys for sweet precious little babies are sold!"
According to Hasbro, the playset is already wildly popular and has caused no actual violence, just innocent kids stabbing each other on playgrounds a lot "in good clean knife fighting fun."
Should be endorsed by OJ Simpson.
Is this outrageous parody, or is it real? Nowadays one can’t tell the difference.
Can’t wait for the Machete and Sword Playsets
The Babylon Bee is brilliant!
You have to laugh sometimes at the insanity around us or you’ll go mad.
Will be released in London England first
Could you imagine the uproar if someone actually made this toy and donated them to Columbus schools as well as schools where the quoted clown is from?
What brain dead chuckleheads this woman AND Valerie Jarrett are.
Methinks they overdosed a bit much on West Side Story when they were younger but never actually lived where gangs really DO kill each other.
Woman gets 4 years for stabbing CTA busker whose music gave her a headache
April 27, 2021 CWB Chicago CTA, Loop
A woman who allegedly told cops she stabbed a guitarist on the Jackson Red Line platform last year because his music gave her a headache has been sentenced to four years in prison.
Barbara Johnson, 39, pleaded guilty to one count of aggravated battery causing great bodily harm in a deal that called on prosecutors to drop three additional aggravated battery counts, court records show. Judge Vincent Gaughan sentenced Johnson and gave her credit for the 436 days she’s been jailed since the February 4, 2020, attack.
Micheal “Machete Mike” Malinowski, a frequent performer on the downtown busker scene, was shredding a tune at the CTA station when Johnson pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the arm, prosecutors said. Malinowski’s Gibson electric guitar was left in pieces on the nearby tracks. His amp was totaled, according to a GoFundMe campaign pitch that raised $7,190 to help him get back on his feet.
Johnson walked away, but the CTA station was filled with witnesses on that pre-COVID afternoon. Cops quickly caught up with her. She would later tell investigators that Malinowski’s music was giving her a headache. YouTube user the1stMikeC posted a video of Malinowski ripping out some Pink Floyd at the station in 2018:
Apparently this knife fight escalates over My Kia not making her bed. In honor of Stabby Girl I propose a DAY WITHOUT MAKING OUR BEDS. Disheveled sheets to decrease the police! Better keep my big mouth shut or they’ll get more dumbass ideas
Terror stabbing suspect stole knife prior to random attack, was being trailed by police
Police officers shot and killed suspect who was recently released from prison.
ByIvan Pereira
February 2, 2020, 4:28 PM
• 5 min read
That cannot possibly be real.
o_O
One of my friends had two brothers... one shot the other and killed him over doing the dishes. They were just kids.
My humor is a quart low over this....again.
The follow-up could be the “My First Incarceration”. With a shiv-making kit, cigs to trade for gay sex, and condoms for contraband smuggling.
What do you think cribs are?
https://www.wlwt.com/article/family-devastated-after-13-year-old-stabbed-by-former-friend-during-fight-dies/36180426#
Try making the "kids will be kids" argument to the parents of that girl.
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