Posted on 03/15/2021 5:59:30 PM PDT by BenLurkin
All you have to do is install an audio plug-in called VB-Audio from the product’s webpage, then make sure you have the right audio devices selected, and then open Zoom as normal. From there, you can play a collection of sound effects in Zoom designed to irritate or annoy your coworkers, ostensibly to the point where your colleagues will ask you to leave the video call.
Some of the sound effects are a bit more straightforward than others. Clips of a crying baby and active construction seem like the most sure-fire way to get out of a video meeting, while the Bad Connection sound quite realistically mimics the choppy audio people might hear if you have weak internet.
But other effects, like a man weeping or the sound of urination, might raise more questions from your coworkers...
(Excerpt) Read more at gizmodo.com ...
A preacher friend of mine got mic’d up just before a sermon then headed to the bathroom. Hilarity ensued.
” I like Zoom as a phone solution, but video calls are the pits.”
It’s the worst. One thing I hate is the SPACING issue. I’ve been on idiotic Z calls where the guys NOSTRILS are kissing the screen, which is gross. People just get uglier on Zoom. I just tell the guys at meeting to just text or email me. I dont like seeing people’s faces on screen live..
My boss was doing shots on a call with 5 others he didn’t think we could see him hiding it behind his coffee but the second one he must of forgot to hide it. LOL
At my last job, I got nicknamed ‘Wilson’. I’m like you, I don’t like looking up someone’s nose or seeing how fat they are, so during Zoom meetings I kept my monitor cam set so you could only see me from the eyes up, like Wilson from Home Improvement. I even went so far as to make a miniature picket fence with a hot glue gun and crafting popcicle sticks.
Poor gal couldn’t stop laughing.
Its about people deliberately creating fake sounds/events to get out of a zoom call.
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Good for them. Slack works, Jira works, Discord works. Zoom without video works. And most people have done this. So effing what.
Remove the effing mask mandate and get everyone back into the office.
Easy, best way to get out of a zoom call. Start an Xbox, PS4 or Steam, or FTP download on another machine or console. Instantly kills most bandwidth. Netflix 4K is also a nice bandwidth killer.
Unless they are paying for your internet bill and for your bandwidth, they can’t force you to stop other family members or housemates from using the internet during the incessantly long and mostly meaningless zoom calls.
Employment is overrated anyway.
>>Remove the effing mask mandate and get everyone back into the office.<<
25%+ of companies have decided to go to 100% telework. So dodging zoom calls is like avoiding meetings. it shows contempt for your employer.
Not a great career retention and advancement plan.
25%+ of companies have decided to go to 100% telework. So dodging zoom calls is like avoiding meetings. it shows contempt for your employer.
Not a great career retention and advancement plan.
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When companies fund proper WFH workspaces, why not.
Let’s see, I needed a professional grade microphone, headphones and a decent cintiq tablet (for whiteboard and drawing), as well as room soundproofing. Provided by my Singapore employer. I don’t miss their Google meet meetings.
Too bad most companies give you a crap top and most people are forced to use their dining room or kitchen tables for work.
You seem to think that work at home is for the employee’s benefit. It is totally for the employer’s benefit. Lower costs, less physical plant, lower liability...
If you echo the voice back into audio at just the right delay it causes brain freeze in the person speaking. Just blame it on the cheap China electronics.
My employer began a long planned $2mm office renovation a couple weeks into the lockdown.
It’s been complete for months. I doubt most of the office employees have even come in to see it. Maybe 15 of the 150 office staff is in the office regularly.
I’ve worked from home or the front seat of my truck for about five years so this whole thing hasn’t had much effect on my productivity.
I do Zoom with my website/marketing guy....just like you said. Audio only with his screen share. Makes everything easy.
>>When companies fund proper WFH workspaces, why not.
Let’s see, I needed a professional grade microphone, headphones and a decent cintiq tablet (for whiteboard and drawing), as well as room soundproofing. Provided by my Singapore employer. I don’t miss their Google meet meetings.
Too bad most companies give you a crap top and most people are forced to use their dining room or kitchen tables for work.<<
God where am I, DU? What a crybaby you are.
The built in camera and speakers on standard laptops work just fine. I bought a $40 camera since I use a 27” monitor. If you are not willing to invest a few $ in your work environment, you do not have a career, you just have a job.
Bottom line: the jobs will go to people who are OK with standard equipment and are willing to chip in a few $ will get the jobs and the work.
Babies who throw tantrums and make demands of people who are in no position to do so will be on the dole.
No one owes you anything.
LOL! Well, not to worry. Biden will make sure that the unemployment rate goes as high as possible.
BTW, I love your profile page. I agree; I have learned a lot here. And I like your posts!
Quality vs. Garbage.
Not if they want professional grade video lessons/ recordings (think Udemy or LinkedIn Learning quality, not 10-year YouTube streamer quality at 320) for teaching use or resale.
So yeah, they want me to use Adobe Premiere Pro, Photoshop, Protools and Camtasia, I’m not sure in the hell not buying those packages, or using my personal licenses that I did pay for. While there are free open-source crapware products that I could kludge together, it’s not worth my paid time and effort to do so.
And no, I won’t buy or use $40 Chinese-branded garbage camera. Looked on Amazon. $40 was all that cheap Chinese garbage, definitely non-production grade cameras. I needed 4K that can be down-sampled to 1920HD. None of the $40, or even $200 Chinese cameras could do that. Bought it and got reimbursed for it. Ended up with a higher-end Logitech.
And Microphones? You go ahead and do steaming/ production/meetings on your $40 camera with that lovely built-in camera microphone. Good luck with that. Think even the cheapest Sensheimer has that beat by miles. Same. Bought a nice sensheimer mic as was reimbursed for it.
Just today, they were reviewing video footage and they were complaining about my mouse control problems (you try drawing complex or even simple math equations using a mouse on a digital whiteboard). So they are now reimbursing me for a lovely 16” Wacom cintiq tablet. Yeah they suggested at first I get a cheap off-brand Chinese tablet to do it. I refused. Told them no Chinese-branded products in my house unless there are absolutely no other options. (Other options was an iPad or Samsung tablet, not well-suited for Windows use)
They suggested I install another camera, a camera-switching streaming deck, and a white board wall be installed, with later reimbursement. They eventually went with the much cheaper option, the Wacom cintiq.
To summarize. It my employer wants professional grade videos (even the zoom classroom sessions are stored and edited), they sure in the hell will pay for it.
Nothing crying about it.
>>To summarize. It my employer wants professional grade videos (even the zoom classroom sessions are stored and edited), they sure in the hell will pay for it.<<
OK, we are all impressed with the fact you are in a niche industry with special requirements. If your company does not provide you with the tools you need to do the job you should by all means leave that company. It sounds like you had special needs and the company fulfilled your requirement.
MOST people who are teleworking for everyday stuff and are using Zoom in place of the meeting room around the corner do not need all of that.
My niece is an architect. When she was forced to telecommute her company equipped her with a high end laptop with the specialty software needed to do her work. She still had to go into the office occasionally to pick up large plans, etc. since a blueprint printer is sort of beyond what you would equip a normal home office with. had they not, their work would have been completed by companies that DID do that. Now that it has proven successful, it looks like they are going to make it permanent and just have the office for the printers and admin coordination.
It is like when I was asked to do some documentation and lead a project. I just said that was not going to be possible unless they supply me with Visio and MPP.
It just never occurred to me to bitchbrag about it.
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