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The Official Friday Silliness Thread, Episode III: The Son of OFST
Various

Posted on 03/05/2021 5:05:00 AM PST by JRios1968

Ladies and Germs...Introducing...

The Official Friday Silliness Thread...the Son of OFST!!!

--------------------------

So, this thread had taken a sabbatical...but we're BACK!!!!

With a Sleepy Joe Biden administration, we will need (and get) all the silliness we can handle!

Here we go...let's give this a try

---------------

A stranded motorist knocked on the door of an inn named “St George and the Dragon.”

“Could you spare a poor stranded motorist a bite to eat?” he asked the woman who answered the door.

“No!” she screamed, slamming the door.

A few seconds later he knocked again. The same woman answered the door.

“Could I please have a bite to eat?” he asked again.

“Get out, you good-for-nothing!” shouted the woman. “And don’t you ever come back!”

After a few minutes there's another knock at the door. The woman comes to the door.

“Pardon,” said the motorist, “but could I have a few words with St George this time?”

-------

----

Teacher: What kind of wife would you like Johnny?

Johnny: I would want a wife like the moon.

Teacher: Wow! What a choice...Do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?

Johnny: No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning.

----

 

-----

A dentist was about to leave his office with his golf bag on his shoulder, when the phone rang.

“Doctor,” the caller said, “I have a terrible toothache. Can I stop by your office in a few minutes?”

“Sorry,” replied the dentist, “but I have a previous appointment to fill eighteen cavities this afternoon.”

-----

<*poot*>
----
Ashlea: I told you, I'm on a strict plant-based diet.

John: Don't worry, these burgers are all plant-based.

Ashlea: Mmm... this is delicious. What plant is this from?

John: Meat-packing plant.
----


----
Last night I made some fish tacos...

Turns out they don’t like Mexican food!!
----
----
Driving to a new restaurant, a woman took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"

"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where you're going when I'm driving."
----
Catch him if you can!

----
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight. Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.

Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug asked, "Why did you put up such a fight?"

To which the man promptly replied, "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe."
----
-----
The seven-year old told her mom that a little boy in her class asked her to play doctor.

"Oh,dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"

"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."
-----
------
My wife asked me today if I had seen the dog bowl...

I said I didn’t know he could!
------


There's plenty more...please add to this fun!



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS:
Let's see what silliness we can get into
1 posted on 03/05/2021 5:05:00 AM PST by JRios1968
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To: JRios1968
Silly,silly,silly!
2 posted on 03/05/2021 5:17:43 AM PST by Gay State Conservative (Trump: "They're After You. I'm Just In The Way")
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To: JRios1968

3 posted on 03/05/2021 5:30:10 AM PST by real saxophonist (The mouse doesn't understand why the cheese is free.)
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To: real saxophonist

4 posted on 03/05/2021 5:31:41 AM PST by real saxophonist (The mouse doesn't understand why the cheese is free.)
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To: JRios1968

5 posted on 03/05/2021 6:15:25 AM PST by blondiegoodbadugly (Thank you President Trump for MAGA )
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To: blondiegoodbadugly

6 posted on 03/05/2021 6:16:56 AM PST by blondiegoodbadugly (Thank you President Trump for MAGA )
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To: JRios1968

7 posted on 03/05/2021 6:37:03 AM PST by real saxophonist (The mouse doesn't understand why the cheese is free.)
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To: JRios1968

8 posted on 03/05/2021 7:29:36 AM PST by fidelis (Zonie and USAF Cold Warrior)
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To: JRios1968

9 posted on 03/05/2021 7:34:28 AM PST by fidelis (Zonie and USAF Cold Warrior)
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To: fidelis

Apparently this post wasn’t silly enough, since the last post I see is from this morning.


10 posted on 03/05/2021 2:18:20 PM PST by zeugma (Stop deluding yourself that America is still a free country.)
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To: JRios1968

About retirement…

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work
and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement,
attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids
will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break
.
Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school
as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the
people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.


11 posted on 03/05/2021 4:42:26 PM PST by Colonial35
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To: zeugma

We’re bringing the band back together!


12 posted on 03/06/2021 8:19:52 AM PST by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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