Posted on 02/09/2021 1:21:07 PM PST by sodpoodle
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied.... 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Otago '
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------------------------------- You're laughing again
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!
On the other hand:
Q: What type of food diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%?
A: Wedding cake
Always be polite to the wife who makes your sandwich...especially if there’s a life insurance policy.
Love ya Sod...
There’s always Subway.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
I like these threads. It gives everyone a break from the other, more serious, threads. Kind of like reading the old Readers Digest booklets.
There’s Subway.
And there’s Sodway.
:-)
You had better check the landing gear on that airplane..... it might be mislabeled.......
Here in NJ, it's called a sang-witch.
Hmmm
If I had no one would have responded.
Q. What’s a man’s idea of safe sex?
A. A padded headboard.
Those are great!
Q. Why is it so difficult for men to make eye contact with women?
A. Boobs don’t have eyes.
Thread title reminded me of a great old movie with Perter O;Toole, “My favorite year”
O’Toole as a drunk need to take a leak, goes into the women’s head. While draining, some old harridan comes and screeches: “This is for women only”
O’Toole replies: “So is this madam, but occasionally I must run some water through it”
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me ...”
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