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'I've Been Shot!' Screams AOC As Ted Cruz Greets Her With Set Of Friendly Finger Guns
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/29/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/30/2021 8:43:23 AM PST by BipolarBob

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Sources at the Capitol confirmed today that a significant brouhaha broke out between Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senator Ted Cruz.

The incident occurred as Ocasio-Cortez was walking out of the Capitol Building and passed by Cruz, who smiled and shot her a set of cool-guy finger guns. "Howdy, AOC! How's my favorite socialist rep? Haha, just playin' with ya, kid."

"Help! I've been shot in a violent attack!" she screamed as Ted Cruz gave her the customary Texas greeting of finger guns. She flopped to the ground and began going into convulsions. "The violence! The horror! He's trying to have me murdered! ATTEMPTED MURDER! I AM IN NO WAY EXAGGERATING THIS SITUATION FOR ATTENTION!"

"COME AND SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!" Ocasio-Cortez then exploded a ketchup packet she keeps on hand for these occasions, screaming, "THE BLOOD! SO MUCH BLOOD! GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD FILLED WITH COUNTLESS SYSTEMIC OPPRESSIONS!"

Capitol security rushed over and caught Cruz red-handed holding the finger guns. After a brief struggle and lots of sawing, they were able to disarm him. Ocasio-Cortez then popped up and walked into the building, whistling John Lennon's "Imagine."

At publishing time, Mitch McConnell had held the door open for Ocasio-Cortez, prompting her to scream that she was being sexually assaulted.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: aoc; babylonbee
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda

That’s a good one to pass around at mandatory Diversity Training.


21 posted on 01/30/2021 4:51:53 PM PST by BipolarBob (USA - Born July 4, 1776. Died Jan. 20, 2021 in the Year of our Covid - a new error.)
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To: Pontiac

Why isn’t this banned off of Youtube yet.....?


22 posted on 01/30/2021 6:44:31 PM PST by GeorgianaCavendish (I have a vewy gweat fwend in Wome named Biggus Dickus...)
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To: xp38
Ok Russ Meyer.....she’s D cup for sho

2349-D4-E7-B062-4-AEC-95-B5-520012-C7-EB84

EAFFB756-6-B44-488-B-BE84-CFD3-A36-E994-A


23 posted on 01/30/2021 11:56:02 PM PST by wardaddy ( IN 1999 JIM THOMPSON WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE BUSHES ...WE WERE WRONG)
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To: wardaddy

Ok...I bow to your expertise


24 posted on 01/31/2021 8:52:35 AM PST by xp38
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To: BipolarBob

It was an assault finger.

25 posted on 01/31/2021 8:55:39 AM PST by McGruff
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