Posted on 01/19/2021 7:48:39 PM PST by Beowulf9
Brought my mother who is 94 and has intermittent confusion and a possible fall to my house to care for her. In the past 3 weeks she has eaten and drank less and less. Refusing all sorts of food she used to eat, scrambled eggs or eggs of any kind, ensure which she used to drink and like, yogurt, chicken salad sandwich which she used to like and now refuses any food. She stopped eating altogether and drinks one cup of coffee in the morning and that's about it and that coffee is a half a cup is all. She has good teeth and no problem chewing but stays in bed and sleeps off and on all day saying just I want to sleep. She gets up and goes to the bathroom which is right by her bedside about 6 feet away then back to bed.
I had to bring her dog over, a labrador who stays by her side constantly and who she gives all her food to if I leave the room. When I put him out while attempting to feed her she eats only a very small portion and then asks where is the dog. If I bring him in she commences to give him whatever food I brought in.
Today I called 911, had the ambulance come, she refused them to take her blood pressure or listen to her heart at all. I helped put the leads on for an ekg during which she began hitting me, repeatedly while I did, thankfully it was normal sinus rhythm. She kept telling the ambulance people 'no, I'm not going, go away, I'm not doing it, I'm not going, go away' the entire time they were here.
Because she refused to go to the hospital, and she was not having trouble breathing or having a dangerous heart rhythm they did not take her in.
She desperately needs iv fluids, and I would love it if they would pump some iv nutrition into her but I cannot get her to go to the hospital. I do not have Power of attorney and cannot get it here at home but they would not take her if I did based on the findings of her not being in dire health circumstances.
Anyone have any ideas? How to feed? How to get any nutrition in her? I would appreciate any helpful suggestions.
I am sorry. Praying for you and your family friend.
Prayers continuing....for your dear mom, and for you.
I’m sorry you lost your dad, too. There is nothing, nothing like the love for your parents.
I do appreciate that. I hope going forward is blessed. That I can make mom happy and comfortable.
❤️
That’s wonderful news! 🙏🏻
I think of my Mom and Dad every day, and thank them for all they did for us. I also thank God for them, as they’re kind is so very, very rare these days.
Thank you, Beo. Christmas this year was the first without either of them and it was hard. My brother and I talked about our childhood memories of Christmases past. They gave us wonderful lives.
So glad you have a good brother to share those experiences with. I also share experiences with my brother like that. It does help but I’m sorry you did lose her.
For any of you who wonder how it is going so far:
Mom actually seems more alert when I brought her home than before she left, but has been quite traumatized by the hospital experience.
She has gone on and on about how they had to restrain her (not how she expressed it, just kept showing me her wrists and telling me they put something on them to hold her in bed) and it hurt. Evidently all the tests they did, x-ray of back, ct of head, ct of stomach, she had to be taken and returned to room, hurt her back because of her compression fractures they found (3). She has only eaten half a bagel with cream cheese when she got up yesterday and a bit of mashed potatoes, and says she will eat but wants to take it slow. No matter my insisting. She is still sleeping at this time and slept all night and so I do have to get her up. She will only drink coffee or tea and did have two cups of coffee and a cup of tea, and part of a cookie. Today I’m hoping she will do more than that. The nutritionist called me and told me to give her anything with high fat content and hopefully she will eat better today. She really does have pain in the back and so between that and the hospital experience she is so worn out. I do not want to leave her in the bed because she can get pneumonia, which the chest x-ray showed that vs possible atelectasis (the bottom of the lung closed down) so I must get her up. The chairs I have hurt her back and my husband is going over to her house to get a soft office chair that is over there. Thank you for asking :) I know this does not sound optimal but that is what the situation is so far.
You have to make them comfortable and fluids but people know when they are giving up
I’ve dwelt with this right where you are four...no five..times
Some families do heroics to the point of absurdity and it’s brutal on the dying
Common sense dictates a happy medium
Hospice can really be of help
I am a nurse. Mom gets frightened of strangers and becomes more confused. I am not getting hospice.
Thank you. It does help to have siblings, as crazy as they make you in other areas of life!
Tell me about it. My brother voted for Biden.
Oh no, my sympathies to you.
Takes me back to taking my mother for drives to see the scenery.
And a whole host of foods we tried as “taste tests,”
I am so sorry.
Are her affairs in order?
Prayers for y’all.
I am so sorry
Hi combat, your nice post should be to Beowulf9.
Good luck
You’re better trained than we are
For the record
Hospice doesn’t live in your home at deaths time
They manage the medications
Home care is one thing
Hospice is another
Your mom might be visited weekly for medication maintenance
If you were an NP you could even write them
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