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Nightmare: Here Is The Democrats' Complete Legislative Agenda For The Next 2 Years
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/14/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/16/2021 7:18:58 AM PST by BipolarBob

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats have released a complete list of all their legislative goals for the next 2 years, and it's worse than we imagined. America may not survive. Brace yourself and read through this confirmed list which we got straight from the Speaker's office, and may God help us all.

The Impeach Trump Again Act - New law requiring Trump to be impeached every week for all of eternity.

The Inclusion and Justice Act - Requires everyone to bake cakes for gay weddings. It will also require everyone to be gay.

The Fairness Act - Will set the minimum wage to whatever Elon Musk makes per hour.

The John Act - New law requiring all men to sit down when they pee.

The Common Sense 'Don't Hate Kids' Act - Will ban assault weapons and also the letter 'A' and 'R' and the number 15 so they can never be made again, and will confiscate all assault rifles to be melted down to make a statue of Ba'al.

The Greener New Deal - Just like the Green New Deal, but with more Communism. Will instantly enact full Communism across the country.

The Justice Act - Will add all registered Democrats to the Supreme Court, and empower women by creating "The Handmen's Tale" where all men have to become pregnant and bear children.

The Kindness and Uniformity Act - Everyone's pronouns must be tattooed to their foreheads. They must also shave their heads and wear only futuristic grey jumpsuits.

The Nutrition Act - Will limit each family to only one loaf of bread per week. Cannibalism now legal as long as you "eat the rich." All foods must now contain a large dose of birth control.

The Insurrection Act 2 - Will declare all unborn babies to be enemies of the state.

The No More Racist Founding Documents Act - Will replace The Bill of Rights with The Bill of Lefts. Will also draft a new Declaration of Dependence.

The Hurt God Act - Legislation to try and hurt God. Trump tried to warn us.

The Omnibus Bill - Congressional raises, 100 Billion for Iran to make nuclear missiles, printing more money, and a new law requiring all children's cartoons to have at least 382 gay characters.

The Democrats must be stopped! We would try to stop them, but all the voting machines are rigged so there's not much use in that. We heard Trump has something up his sleeve though, so that looks promising.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: agenda; babylonbee
Well, there you have it. It's pretty ominous that the name of the machine that enabled this were called "Dominion" as in overlord.
1 posted on 01/16/2021 7:18:58 AM PST by BipolarBob
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To: BipolarBob

When will Las Vegas odds makers start taking bets as to “how many days until the Babylon Bee is deplatformed”?


2 posted on 01/16/2021 7:26:52 AM PST by RoosterRedux
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To: RoosterRedux

When will Las Vegas odds makers start taking bets as to “how many days until the Babylon Bee is no longer satire”?


3 posted on 01/16/2021 7:54:05 AM PST by UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide (White Privilege does NOT begin with Being White but when you ACT "WHITE"! So, -- ACT "WHITE"!)
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To: BipolarBob

That last paragraph.. I’ve read that somewhere..


4 posted on 01/16/2021 8:03:24 AM PST by Celerity
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To: Celerity

it does seem familiar.


5 posted on 01/16/2021 8:05:42 AM PST by BipolarBob (USA - Born July 4, 1776. Died Jan. 20, 2021 in the Year of our Covid.)
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To: UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide

Whatever they do, you can be sure it will be perfect, amazing, incredible, terrific.

Anyone who believes otherwise is an unperson.

Forward, comrades—the future awaits!


6 posted on 01/16/2021 8:12:49 AM PST by cgbg (A kleptocracy--if they can keep it.)
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To: BipolarBob

For a minute, I thought this was satire.


7 posted on 01/16/2021 8:18:17 AM PST by UnwashedPeasant (Trump is the last legally elected U.S. President.)
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To: UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide
Satire?

Since when?;-)

8 posted on 01/16/2021 8:55:44 AM PST by RoosterRedux
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To: BipolarBob

Haha funny. So it all depends on Joe and whether he votes to overhaul the filibuster.


9 posted on 01/16/2021 8:56:54 AM PST by MinorityRepublican
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To: BipolarBob

Paying off the despot leaders of terrorist regimes seems to be a new tactic introduced by Obummer, wonder who the left will pay off with pallets of cash this go round...


10 posted on 01/16/2021 9:01:29 AM PST by Democrat = party of treason
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To: BipolarBob

The Next letter to use after A R Are B S...:)


11 posted on 01/16/2021 9:32:14 AM PST by ridesthemiles ( )
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To: BipolarBob

Here’s the Democrats agenda for the next 1-3 months. HIDE!


12 posted on 01/16/2021 9:41:08 AM PST by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: BipolarBob

13 posted on 01/16/2021 12:41:19 PM PST by a fool in paradise (Who built the cages, Joe?)
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