MASSACRE' Hundreds of dead birds litter Rome street after they were ‘scared to death by New Year’s Eve fireworks’ despite ban

The Sun UK ^ | 01 Jan 21 | Christy Cooney

[Kevmo]

I was an adult before I saw someone ELSE light their darts.

I really thought it was just an urban legend.

[Viking2002]

My buddy set his carpet AND his jeans on fire when he was 17. If he’d have burned his ass off, I still would have laughed. LOL!

[dayglored]

> I was an adult before I saw someone ELSE light their darts farts.

Fixed it for ya. It's very important when lighting farts to either drop trou, or be wearing very light/permeable shorts. Otherwise some or all of the fart gas gets trapped in the pants, and when lit, can catch the pants themselves on fire, and/or burn one's posterior.

I learned that by watching someone make the mistake, as a teenager. For some reason, I've never successfully ignited my own farts. Must be my diet.

[gundog]

Well, at least it shows some initiative. Some of the seagulls around here just hang around at McDonalds, waiting for hand-outs.

[gundog]

Lots of birds steer clear of storms. Thunder has a completely different sonic signature than explosions.

[Viking2002]

Have a dinner of corned beef brisket and cabbage simmered in chicken stock. I'll guarantee you that you'll get a thrust-to-weight ratio that'll make Elon Musk proud. *chuckle*

Really. Cabbage simmered in chicken stock with a little cracked pepper is delicious. Try it.

[W.]

The noisy blasts from my shotguns didn’t kill the birdies, it was the lead shot. Oy!

[P.O.E.]

Never saw a dead pigeon in Chinatown?

Cue the "that wasn't chicken" fortune cookie

[moovova]

Should make all of the mangy Rome cats happy.

[Kevmo]

The humble parakeet from Australia has a second moniker: budgerigar. It is a homophonic translation of what the aborigines called them. Its meaning was “tasty little birds”.

[American in Israel]

The fireworks startle the birds into flight at night when they are blind. No instrument flight is short lived.

[Drew68]

Hundreds of birds?

There's probably millions of pigeons in Rome.

[Kevmo]

I think the last thing we need is smarter seagulls showing initiative. Let them ESAD.

[Kevmo]

You obviously need to change your diet.

[dayglored]

> You obviously need to change your diet.

I've considered that... But on the plus side, the so-far-non-ignitable gas tends to be non-injurious to those in the vicinity. I worry that adding dietary elements that foster greater flammability would also increase the danger to those nearby. Even if no one is around, I worry about peeling the paint -- I had a friend long ago whose flatulence was legendary, and I have no great desire to try to out-do him. :-)

[Kevmo]

Well, the local bird population is thankful.

[dayglored]

Yeah, my buddy could knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon, as the saying goes. Any less robust avians would simply explode and drop out of the air in a blast of feathers.