Posted on 12/24/2020 6:45:14 AM PST by Colonial35
An American and Russian diplomat are at a formal dinner in the American embassy and are sitting next to each other with their wives when the American says to the Russian: It looks like it’s snowing outside. The Russian answers and says: No, it’s raining. They argue back and forth until the American wife turns to him and says: Hey honey, Rudolph the Red knows rain dear.
That is as bad as this.
The Difference between an Oral Thermometer and Rectal Thermometer is What?
The Taste!
Old couple sitting in rockers on the front porch listening to a preacher program on the radio
the Rev says what ever problem you have put one hand on the radio and on on the place you have a problem and I will heal it.
The old man puts his hand in his lap and his wife looks at him and says HE said he could heal not raise the dead.
One of your best days. Still stealing.
The teacher asks her students to use the word urinate in a sentence.
None of them raise a hand except little Johnny. The teacher sighs, knowing
she shouldn’t ask him and says, Yes Johnny? Can you use the word urinate in a sentence?
Sure, says Johnny.
Urinate. But if you had bigger boobs you’d be a ten!
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I love little Johnny jokes. I have a similar one using the word contagious. But I dare not post it here. :<(
Fire engines are red because:
Two plus two equals four
Four times three equals twelve
There are twelve inches in a ruler
Queen Elizabeth is a ruler
Queen Elizabeth is also a ship
A ship sails on the sea
The sea has fishes
Fishes have fins
The Finns fought the Russians
The Russians are red
And that's why fire engines are red; they're rushin' all over.
I love, love, love Friday silliness thread! It is one of the highlights of my week! Thanks for the laughs, especially the clean ones.
On a flight across the ocean, the pilot got on the PA system and announced that due to an unforseen problem they were low on fuel and 5 people needed to jump out or they would never make it across the ocean and all would die.
So a minute went by and then a Frenchman jumped up and yelled “remember DeGaulle”, and jumped out. Then a German jumped up and yelled “remember Hitler” and jumped.
A few seconds went by and the tall Texan jumped up, and he yelled “remember the Alamo”.
And he threw 3 Mexicans out.
4l8r
Thanks for a whole page of laughs!
Except for that one.
for future reading
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