Posted on 12/01/2020 8:17:23 AM PST by sodpoodle
Edited on 12/01/2020 8:19:27 AM PST by Admin Moderator. [history]
As I left the hardware store the other day, I was fumbling for my car keys and could not find them.
They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.
She's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized she was right.
The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location,
confessed that I had left my keys in the car and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my wife:
I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen.
There was a moment of silence.
I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard her voice. "Are you kidding me?" she barked,
"I dropped you off!"
Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me then".
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your **** car!"
"Welcome to the Golden Years"
MY DOCTOR ASKED IF ANYONE IN MY FAMILY WAS SUFFERING FROM MENTAL ILLNESS.
I SAID; "NO, WE ALL SEEM TO ENJOY IT".
That was really funny. Thanks for the laugh!
I also just got a new car with push button and have left the car running twice while grocery shopping. My wife now always ask if I turned the car off?
Your only in real danger ...if it is someone else’s house.
A man, driving his car got a call from his wife to
warn him that someone was driving the wrong way on
the expressway. He answered her...”Oh it’s worse
than that, there are hundreds of them!”
+1 for keyless. ignition!
You’re only in real danger ...if it is someone else’s house.
My wife actually reported her car stolen. She went to Walmart and when she came out, it was gone. She had just loaned it to her son, so she inadvertently left the fob in the car, meaning it was unlocked and all someone had to do was jump in and push the engine start button and it would start right up. So off to Walmart I go to pick her up. Just for grins I decided to recon the parking lot. Sure enough, I found it immediately. She had gone in on one side of the building and came out the other side. Lucky for her no one tried to steal it, because this was the one time they would have been able to do so. At least she was able to call dispatch and tell PD to never mind before anyone got there.
HaHa!
If Joe Biden had ever been a bright, intelligent human being; at his current age (78) he is showing signs of age related dementia.
In four years he’ll be clueless!
Good one!
Hi.
My dad could chew a piece of gum for days. He would put it on the night stand whenever he went to bed.
We are driving from FL to PA for a vacation. I’m about 13 years old and a wise ass.
We are driving through GA and have to detour through Valdosta because they were still building the interstate.
So the detour is long with many stop and goes. So earlier Mom had turn on the a/c, and Dad forgot.
Dad said something (inaudible), turned his face toward what he thought was open space...he spit the gum with fury, it hit the window, and came back and hit him in the nose.
You should have seen his face. I laughed so hard I peed my pants.
5.56mm
Hahaha...a couple of years ago, I got into work, opened my backpack and went to pull an iPad out...it wasn’t there!
I thought maybe I had left it at home and to ensure it hadn’t been stolen from my office, I used the “Find my Mac”, and it showed my iPad traveling down a highway about 20 miles from my office!!!!!!!
I got on the office phone and began to dial the State Police, but...at that moment, my cell phone rang. It was my wife, she had taken my iPad without telling me.
LOL, if I had called the State Police on her, I would have had to hire a taster to sample my coffee each morning to make sure there wasn’t any ethylene glycol in it!
The good news: The XYL had done it before I did. The bad news: Perhaps I kidded her too much about it. Karma’s a bitch!
LOL. In times like this a little humor goes a long way. Thanks.
LOL - A big dose of humility always helps in those situations.
lol...
Reminds me of a Winston Churchill story when he was attending a dinner party where he was at odds with a lady who was also there. The conversation went something like:
Lady: "Winston! If I were married to you, I would poison your tea!"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were married to you, I would gladly drink it!"
Good one. I’ve got a few stories but no time...
Later.
I am a big Churchill fan, and THAT is probably my favorite anecdote about him!
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