Top speed: 120 mph
Posted on 11/14/2020 11:44:07 AM PST by sodpoodle
LIKE FINE WINE Bill, a 70-year-old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful appeal and outright charm while hanging over Bills arm and listening intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, “Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?”
Bill replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”
They’re knocked over, but continue to ask. “So, how did you persuade her to marry you?”
Bill says, “I lied about my age.”
His friends respond, “What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?”
Bill smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”
FLORIDA SENIORS A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. “This is great,” he thought as he roared down I-75.
He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rearview mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. “I can get away from him with no problem,” thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph, then 110, 120 mph! Then he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of thing.”
He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. “Sir,” he said, looking at his watch. “My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The man looked at the trooper and said, “Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.”
The trooper replied, “Sir, have a nice day.”
Hi.
A politician, prostitute and lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender ask if they’re triplets.
Sorry.
5.56mm
I was doing 75 on the freeway the other week. Some bonehead passed me doing about 80 on a scooter.
As I was wondering about how hot his tires must be one suddenly started to shred, pelting my pickup with rubber.
He cut past me to the right lane and came within about 6 inches of being roadkill from the van next to me.
Moron.
Top speed: 120 mph
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