Posted on 11/14/2020 11:44:07 AM PST by sodpoodle
LIKE FINE WINE Bill, a 70-year-old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful appeal and outright charm while hanging over Bills arm and listening intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, “Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?”
Bill replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”
They’re knocked over, but continue to ask. “So, how did you persuade her to marry you?”
Bill says, “I lied about my age.”
His friends respond, “What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?”
Bill smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”
FLORIDA SENIORS A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. “This is great,” he thought as he roared down I-75.
He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rearview mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. “I can get away from him with no problem,” thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph, then 110, 120 mph! Then he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of thing.”
He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. “Sir,” he said, looking at his watch. “My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The man looked at the trooper and said, “Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.”
The trooper replied, “Sir, have a nice day.”
Heh, heh. The best part about getting old is that even though you’ve heard these jokes a hundred times they’re still new.
:-)) :-))
Thx!
lmao! ‘I thought you were bringing her back’! “Sir, have a nice day...lol!
LOL...those are great! Thanks for posting those. Just sent to my wife and my sister.
Bkmk
I’m so old, I remember Lieutenant Tso’s chicken.
” He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph”
Even the Prius’ and Smart Cars pass you on I-75 if you are only going 80.
Two women get into a cab at the airport in Boston. “Where to?” asked the cabbie. One woman was reading about local seafood and said “We’d like to get scrod.”
The cabbie replied, “That’s the first time I’ve heard that used in the pluperfect subjunctive.”
The moral of the story ... if you get an English degree, expect to get a job like cab driver.
/
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Close but few will notice.
happy birthday 12 days early...
“The moral of the story ... if you get an English degree, expect to get a job like cab driver.”
Cabbie failed Grammar.
You’re getting double duty on these. I forward (most of) them to my wife.
And when Captain Crunch was a midshipman.
I remember Ensign Crunch.
Well, it IS an old joke... ;-)
Cabbie failed Grammar.
And that was better than the dumb joke.
I have a terrific relationship with my Dr. and I had to txt a question to him .... and I preceded my question with one of the medical ones.
I'll let you know how he reacts
I heard William F Buckley tell that joke on Carson one night years ago.
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