One of my favorites.....Guy walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for 6 shots of his best whiskey. The bartender lines then up. The guy quickly drinks them. Bartender asks, “Hey why the hurry”? They guy responds, “You’d drink ‘em fast too if you had what I have!”. Bartender cautiously picks up the shot glasses with a towel and asks, “What to you have....covid? Guy reaches into his pocket and says, “Nah...I got 2 dollars”!
Two Irishmen walk out of a bar..........................
I found the secret weapon to ensure the Chinese never beat America.
The weapon: Dehumidifiers
We had a small pipe leak in the basement, I put my dehumidifier on and my Chinese wife & mother and law were mortally terrified of it. They wouldn’t let me keep it on when I went to work or after we went to bed.
Her friend who owns a Chinese Hair salon recently had a ceiling leak after some heavy rain. So I lend them my dehumidifier to help dry the place and again for some reason they were all mortally terrified of the thing. The all acted like the thing was running on Plutonium or something. I got it back the next day and don’t think they used after I left.
So for the same reason Dogs will never rule the world because of vacuum cleaners, the Chinese will never rule because of dehumidifiers.
My dying wish is that I will not be allowed to vote.
What do you call Friday the 13th in 2020?
Friday.
We are going into lockdown again and the shelves are running out of toilet paper.
But they say that this will only be for 2 weeks. Ain’t THAT a laugh???!!!
Peanuts Gang Singing “Barracuda” by: Heart
Show starts at 1:20
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlqV3nm6Lrk&t=90s&ab_channel=GarrenLazar