Posted on 10/30/2020 8:18:43 AM PDT by upchuck
My son is taking part in a virtual school social experiment for his civics class. He has to wear a Biden 2020 T-shirt for two weeks and write a report on how people react. On his very first day, he’s been cursed at, spit on, punched, and had a bottle thrown at him!
I’m curious what will happen when he leaves the house.
Good one!
Thanks for the levity. Things are so uptight right now !
You’re welcome. Hopefully things will not get so bad that we lose our sense of humor.
That’s too funny! lol
Marking.
Thanks...all of us need tidbits like this to help get through the next week.
Trump!
There is a town in Texas called New Braunfels which has a rather large German-speaking population.
A ranch hand was working out by a cow pasture when he saw a car stop at the side of the road. A rather nicely-dressed fellow got out of the car and walked toward one of the water troughs in the pasture and dipped a hand in. He then began lifting his hand toward his mouth.
At this point, the ranch hand exclaimed, “Trinken Sie das Wasser nicht! Die Kuehe haben darein geschissen.” (Don’t drink the water! The cows have shit in it.)
The guy looks over at the ranch hand, and says, “I really don’t have time for this. I’m very busy campaigning for Joe Biden, so if what you have to tell me is important, can you please say it in English?”
The ranch hand replies, “Use both hands.”
:) Excellent!
I’ve stolen it!
Not an election joke, but ...
A city slicker went for a ride in the country to get some fresh air. He saw an old farmer plowing up a field behind a mule and he noticed that after each row, the farmer would stick his finger in the mule’s butt and rub it on his lips.
After a few minutes he approached the farmer and asked him why he did that.
The farmer replied, “I’ve got chapped lips”.
The city slicker asked, “Does that help them”?
The farmer replied, “No, but it sure as hell keeps you from lickin’ ‘em.”
Came across this one from my days in the newsgroups
Subject: WHERE HAS ALL THE LIPSTICK GONE?
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with an unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and cleaned the mirror. Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Dave was a single guy, living at home with his father and working in the family business. He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.
Dave wanted two things:
• to learn how to invest his inheritance and,
• to find a wife to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away .
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.
Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.
an old lady in a wheel chair was going down the hall to her room in the old police officers home, after passing the first door an old guy steps out and says hold on miss, you were speeding, license and registration please, she hands him a candy wrapper, he says here’s your ticket, handing her a piece of candy and she moves on. After the second door another old guy steps out and asks her if she insured, she shows him her meal ticket and he says, ok you can go. as she reaches the third door an old naked guy jumps out and she says “Oh no, not the breathalyzer again”
A successful businessman decided it was time he got married. He narrowed his choices down to three women, and gave each of them $5,000 thinking that how they used that money would help him decide which one to marry.
The first women came back with a very nice set of golf clubs. “I decided to use this money to buy you a gift. I want you to know that I value your happiness.”
The second woman came back with a new hairstyle and several new items of clothing. “I want to look my best for you, so you will always find me desirable.”
The third woman came back with $10,000. “I invested the money you gave me, and as you can see I’ve doubled it. I want you to know that you and I will be financially secure.”
The man was quite impressed with all three, and took these things under careful consideration. After mulling these things over, he married the woman with the biggest tits.
Perhaps we can all agree on:
The vaccine should be tested on politicians first.
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don’t, the country is safe.
......cute.....
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