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Aides Forced To Cut Mitch McConnell Out Of Six-Pack Of Plastic Rings Again
Babylon Bee ^ | 10/28/2020 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/29/2020 7:33:57 PM PDT by Forgiven_Sinner

WASHINGTON, D.C.—While taking a short recess after confirming his 1,274th judge of the morning, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell found himself ensnared in plastic rings discarded from a six-pack of soda.

"Shhh, little guy, it's OK -- we're just trying to help," whispered an aide as she tried to cut McConnell out of the trash from a six-pack of soda. The frightened senator tried to withdraw his head into his suit jacket, but it just got stuck even worse. He panicked and flipped on his back, where he was completely helpless and immobile.

Finally, aides were able to free him, and he went on to confirm another 3,877 judges.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: kentucky; mcconnell; mitchmcconnell; satire; senate; theturtle
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To: cabbieguy

I’m all in for Trump. The dot Indian loving RINOs in the Senate and House have got to go..,


21 posted on 10/30/2020 4:19:13 AM PDT by Starcitizen (Communist China needs to be treated like the pariah country it is. Send it back to 1971)
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To: Starcitizen

Blame Democrats they are keeping PDJT from opening up the economy using old and sick people as human shields. When the patriots

But waiting eight months for your old jobs to come back doesn’t seem like a very responsible thing to do. Jobs for warehouse work, delivery, uber drivers , instacart shoppers are all booming.


22 posted on 10/30/2020 4:20:40 AM PDT by Galatians328 (God Bless PDJT.. 2020 , Trump Jr. 2024)
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To: Galatians328

Let’s see. All minimum and sub-minimum wage jobs with no benefits or brutal warehouse distribution work where a diaper is part of the uniform. Jobs I’m not physically capable of doing. You don’t use your brain for 35 years in work then switch to using muscle work. It would be the same as taking a warehouse worker with decades of experience and telling them “ok, you will now create advanced physics simulations using multithreaded c++ code”

I actually tried working for an Amazon warehouse in Thornton, CO. Lasted 1 day. The lifting and bending wrecked my knees and back. And with a shattered and rebuilt left arm, lifting anything over 15 kg was out of the question.

Also tried the delivery services. DoorDash, Postmates, Uber Eats, Instacart and Citizen Driver. Lost money after gas and car expenses. Uber/Lyft? My car is too old.


23 posted on 10/30/2020 6:46:50 AM PDT by Starcitizen (Communist China needs to be treated like the pariah country it is. Send it back to 1971)
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To: SunkenCiv
He just fast-laned Justice Barrett into the SCOTUS.

And has been counter-acting Pelosi's lunacy while reducing Schumer to a weakling cry-baby. Far more trustworthy than Rubio or Graham. On the other hand it seems I have to stop the truck every other week to move Mitch out of the road he's slowly crossing.

24 posted on 10/30/2020 9:00:49 AM PDT by MikelTackNailer (Fortunately despite aging I've been spared the ravages of maturity.)
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To: MikelTackNailer

Well put!


25 posted on 10/30/2020 9:53:25 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
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To: Forgiven_Sinner; 100American; al baby; Allegra; BufordP; dp0622; EveningStar; Gefn; GunsareOK; ...

Wow, all that stuff other FReepers said about him being a different species is true!

DANG!


26 posted on 10/30/2020 6:29:25 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Hope is not a plan. -- Matthew Bracken)
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To: Forgiven_Sinner

27 posted on 10/31/2020 7:11:57 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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